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https://www.duolingo.com/Theognome

Jokes

I tell jokes a lot. I mean, a lot. Many of my jokes are so old that when they were first told the Dead Sea was only sick. Well, I'm now studying German, and although jokes about German Sausages are the wurst, I don't know how to tell said joke in German. Is there some way that we could learn the typical, corny, kid-level jokes of other languages to help with our understanding of the idioms even better? Idioms, not idiots.

-Theognome

4 years ago

40 Comments


https://www.duolingo.com/Pfiff
Pfiff
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Well, I don't know that it's an actual joke, but it's a funny thing they say. Because German verbs often go at the end of a sentence, people say that you only need to listen for the last five minutes of a politician's speech because that's when he'll tell you what he's actually going to do.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/annika_a
annika_a
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Well, but may follow the train of thought all along the long sentence, and agree with it all, and then the German speaker ends with a "nicht". So the point might be what the politician won't be doing...

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/sakasiru
sakasiru
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Seems legit :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7TboWvVERU

(This is a famously awful speech from Edmund Stoiber why the Munich airport needs a Transrapid line)

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Noe010101
Noe010101
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Yeah, this is true:))

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Wolhay
Wolhay
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Honecker und Mielke (head of the Ministry for State Security) unterhalten sich. Mielke fragt: "Na, Erich, was ist den eigentlich so dein Hobby?"

Honecker: "Ich sammle die Witze, die die Leute so über mich erzählen!"

Darauf Mielke: "Mein Hobby ist ganz ähnlich: Ich sammle die Leute, die die Witze erzählen!"


Good luck trying to find funny German jokes.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Druckles
Druckles
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Your second comment made me laugh more.


My attempt at a translation:

Honecker and Mielke are conversing. Mielke asks: "Well, Eric, what's your hobby?"

Honecker: "I collect the jokes that the people tell about me!"

Mielke responds: "My hobby is exactly the same: I collect the people who tell the jokes!"

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Usagiboy7
Usagiboy7
Mod
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o.o Hannibal... ? O.O

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/pont
pont
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It's a communist-era joke, from the days when telling jokes (about the wrong things) could easily get you locked up. Mielke was the chief of the secret police.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/856pm

I know one that I read:

How do you use a sandwich as a compass?

You put it on the Berlin wall; the eaten side is east.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/mjlinane

These are hilarious!

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Schneefreundin

Another joke on that:

In der DDR. Zwei Männer sitzen am Tresen. Der eine sagt zum anderen: "Wissen Sie, was der Unterschied zwischen meinem Bier und der SED ist?" Der andere schüttelt den Kopf. "Keine Ahnung." "Na, das Bier ist flüssig, und die SED ist überflüssig!" Der andere denkt nach. "Wissen Sie denn, was der Unterschied zwischen Ihnen und diesem Tresen hier ist?" "Nein, keine Ahnung!" "Na, der Tresen bleibt hier, und Sie kommen mit!" =8-0

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/pont
pont
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I like it! You can learn a lot from jokes -- for example, that if you're not "du" with someone yet, maybe you don't know him well enough to swap jokes about the SED :).

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Druckles
Druckles
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Attempt at a translation:

In the DDR. Two men are sitting at the bar. One says to the other: "Do you know what the difference is between my beer and the SED?" The other shakes his head. "No idea." "Well, the beer is fluid, and the SED is superfluous!" (Pun does not translate well.) The other has a think. "Do you know, then, what the difference is between you and this here bar?" "No, no idea!" "Well, the bar is staying here, and you're coming with me!" :-o

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Schneefreundin

@pont, good point ;) [somehow, I couldn't reply to your post directly--maybe the limit of the thread hierarchy has been reached?]

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/barb7
barb7
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ganz Ahnlich is 'very similar'

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Druckles
Druckles
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Danke! Wahrscheinlich gibt es viele Probleme in meiner Übersetzung.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Jack.Elliot
Jack.Elliot
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jokes are great in the former DDR

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/sakasiru
sakasiru
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Any oppressive regime has caused their fair share of cynical jokes, even if it is dangerous. I especially like the "Horst-Wessel-Butter" from the Third Reich. It's a pun on a line of a cringeworthy patriotic song ("Horst-Wessel Lied") about the SS and fallen comrades who "march along in our minds in our ranks". When Germany was in the middle of the war, food production was reduced in favour of weapon production, which caused some people to rephrase the line to

"[die Butter] marschiert im Geist auf unseren Broten mit“ (= the butter marches along in our minds on our breads).

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Jack.Elliot
Jack.Elliot
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"Das Leben der Anderen" Is a great German film which contains some classic DDR jokes

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Equilibrio99
Equilibrio99
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When you hear this joke spoken, it has a very heavy German accent and sounds like this: Vot did Sigmund Freud say lies between fear und sex? Answer: funf

The most delightful thing I've translated so far in Spanish has been CHISTES DE NIÑOS (Children's jokes), this is the link I see on my tablet. http://www.duolingo.com/translations

The link seems pretty generic. Let me know if it doesn't work for you.

Thanks for your jokes. Love 'em!

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Druckles
Druckles
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Took me a few tries to get that one!

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/paddjon

There are a load of Spanish children's jokes here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/tontitofrito?feature=watch

... Ah! Just got the Freud joke :D

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Senor_Scott

good juan

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/jaye16
jaye16
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You made my day. Thank you.:-) :-) :-) It's pretty hard to "get" jokes if you don't know the place it comes from. That's why people say for example: "German jokes are not funny, or any other nation." When I go back home after a long period away I don't get the jokes at first. But laughter is healthy so go on; we need more.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/TheGandalf
TheGandalf
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Perché il pollo ha attraversato la strada? Per arrivare all'altro bordo!

Though I'm not sure if these are the best choices of vocabulary.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/jaye16
jaye16
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We say that in English, too.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/TheGandalf
TheGandalf
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Yeah, I translated it to Italian on the spot.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/jaye16
jaye16
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Good job of translating. We used to say that when I was a kid. Told it to my grandson (in English) and he loved it. A lingot from both of us.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Noe010101
Noe010101
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Could you translate it for me, please? :)

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/jaye16
jaye16
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"Why did the chicken cross the road." "To get to the other side."

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Noe010101
Noe010101
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Thanks a lot:))) LOL

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/jaye16
jaye16
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:-)

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/BankVault3
BankVault3
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Here's a "funny phrase in German and French: F: J'ai coupé le fromage G: Ich schnitt den Käse Translation: I cut the cheese

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/856pm

A French seal's wool?

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/pont
pont
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Wolhay's political contribution reminded me of a classic from the Nazi era in Germany -- looking for it in German I discovered that it's been dramatized into a short Youtube clip -- enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm7UV0J8oLg

(But try to avoid reading the name of the video, since they've rather foolishly used the punchline as the title...)

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/sakasiru
sakasiru
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For all Turkish to German learners: ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_Pf7Lycm2E

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/I.m.Geniza

I think your idea is great! I would love to learn a few jokes in different languages.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/cr48laptop

Un pez le preguntó a su amigo, "Que haces tu padre?" El otro pez le dijo, "Nada."

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Zass30
Zass30
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That is a GREAT idea. Every language should have a jokes and puns section. I think it's a great way to learn a language!

4 years ago