"בישראל אסור להיות ביישן!"

Translation:In Israel one must not be shy!

August 8, 2016

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I would advise anyone against trusting sweeping generalisations.


I'm guilty as charged of making one on this discussion stream :)


'timid' is supplied as a drop-down translation for ביישן here, but if you are brave enough to use it then you are marked 'incorrect' :-)


I am shy and I get on fine! I disagree with the statement but maybe I will remember it better because of that


If not, you won't really get anywhere. Israelis are very outspoken and in-your-face compared to most native English speakers. If they yell at you, just yell back a bit louder*. It's OK to get angry or upset in the process and sometimes, if he's tough enough to handle it, it's even OK to punch the guy(!) - as long as the two of you make up afterwards, which is what will generally happen. (There's even a joke that an American friend will say something that sounds a bit like an insult and say "Just kidding" while an Israeli friend will punch you in the stomach and say "Just kidding.")

*If someone is insecure, they will feel threatened if you suddenly go from normal to full volume, so as a general rule, be careful not to instigate the yelling unless the other guy is clearly badgering you or otherwise making you feel stressed out.


I would say you might have taken this a step too far. I never punched a guy in the stomach and said "just kidding" after that. Generally, punching a guy or shouting at the wrong people in Israel may end badly, so I'd advise to think wisely who to answer to and who not to. Sometimes conflicts can be avoided just by ignoring and taking it, and not out of shyness, but out of wisdom and being the bigger person.

Anyway, there's a big difference between violence (verbal or physical) and being assertive (which you definitely do need in Israel). Violence is a problem in the Israeli society, but it's definitely not part of the things that characterize (hopefully it will stay that way).


Speaking of being assertive, I think it is a middle eastern problem too. I lived in Syria and Lebanon most of my life, and my best friend is Italian. The middle eastern people "swallow" undecisive and unsure people. If you have a point that you want to stick out, you have to assertively put your foot on the floor and let it known wide and clear. Otherwise, there is no respect to different opinions...


Ok, you're right, I should have been clearer. I was mainly talking about friends. I also edited the above post - read it again and see if you like it


Is this way to behave the same regardless of gender? And does it matter if you are secular or religious?


I would say that in general this is true, Israelis (non-anglos) are far more assertive and straight to the point than most anglos. It doesn't mean you need to be a jerk and I would not take any advise about 'shouting or punching' people you do not know, but definitely be very firm whenever dealing with anyone and never be shy.


Eliyahu Kitov in "The Jew and His Home" lists "shy, kind, good-hearted" as "specific marks of Jewishness" ...


Judging by the last comment you need to arrive screaming and pushing everyone around. Otherwise you will not survive. Add to that crowds and heat and you get a perfect environment for premature heartattack. :) i won't be visiting that place any time soon.


So אסור does not mean must not as in "not allowed", but must not as in "it is not smart to"


Well, אסור simply means "must not" as in "not allowed" or even "forbidden".

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