What the frack does this even mean?
Yeah, this sentence is super awkward. I think it's just saying that there are five people in the family.
Can I also say, "Somos cinco en la familia"?
Your way is 2000 times more common in google searches than duolingo's translation.
You can, but you leave the "our" out. "We are five in the family."
Is this as awkward in Spanish as it is in English?
Why can I not say nuestro here?
Because familia is a feminine noun
This is wrong in English, in Spanish it would be fine.
Why can I not say tenemos?
Would it be okay to say "Nosotros somos cinco en nuestra familia."? I am worried about the nosotros being used together with nuestra familia.
Why not "nuestras" here? Isn't it plural since we're talking about five people in the family?
Say what?!? Is this just how someone would say "we have five[people] in our family" in spanish?
And is this how it's always said? Sorta like "i am 25[years old]" vs "i have 20 years" for spanish...
Yes, that's a good analogy.