Aside from the man eating ice cream with mustard, this is quite confusing. When would you need to say this? When would you need to have someone say it to you?
Romanian husband clarified snarkily that it is the opposite to my favorite line in "Cold Comfort Farm": "I'm a deeead womannn!"
So lucky to have him answer these questions. So lucky.
I am so glad that these women clarified for me, that they are indeed living. I was worried. :p
It is just that "alive" can not be used before a noun in English. It's formed like awake, asleep that cannot go before a noun either.