https://www.duolingo.com/hector0123456789

I'm done with languages

hector0123456789
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Hi everyone , my name is Hector , I'm 17 years old, I live in Brazil and I'm going to tell you the story of how everything is going down in my life, it's been two years and a half that I've been learning Russian, German, French and English ,however right now I'm not having so much fun as I felt when I was learning English and French in 2015 ,but in 2016 I started learning Russian and German, but I think that it's not my passion anymore because I can only watch TV shows in those languages and there's no one around me interested in languages and don't like to talk to people in the internet because I prefer to talk to people in the real world. I'm in high school, the last year 2016 was when everything got worse because a big part of the people in my classroom were lazy and some of them were like zombies, in the end, I had a very repetitive daily basis in 2016 , but when I was in school I was very social , but all of those people were not real friends at all , when I was on vacation I was very Isolated from the world and I had nowhere to go, and used to read books but recently I rarely read something because when I am going to read I start to get bored , even if I friends and somewhere to go I could not go because my mother will not let me go out , she has total control over me ,if I do something wrong she will cut the internet connection, I don't have freedom , I have no job ,I don't like the clothes I'm wearing . After all this , got depressed and I lost all my interests in languages ,but still enjoy watching movies and TV shows in those languages ,I really don't like my family specially my brother ,I cannot understand why he's successful because he's very lazy and he dropped out of high school ,and my other brother and my father work for him in his bussines ,but my family says that I'm wasting time with it because I don't have a degree with those languages .personaly I think that's another casualty of society. But this year I will try to change things , last week I went to school and I found Myself in the same place where I was last year , with the same idiot friends ,idiot teachers,my parents having the control over me, nowhere to go and I have never kissed a girl "I'm 17 years old", however I'm not going to stay in the same boring classroom, I'll change it , I will have new and real friends , I really want to travel around the world but I just don't know how to do it because I don't know my future career. That was my miserable story of how everything is going down in my life because I lost my mind with all this repetitive daily basis and my isolation ,I haven't seen any stranger for almost three months ,I life is just eat ,sleep,movies and tv shows, I am still trying to figure out this puzzle what Do you think about it? What should I do?

1 year ago

14 Comments


https://www.duolingo.com/rspreng

I think you need to talk to a professional and not rely on the advice of strangers on the internet. I think some of what has been posted may be helpful, some has been absolutely terrible. I have training in this area, but my advice is to sit down face-to-face with a professional -- therapist, doctor, counselor, whatever it is in Brazil.

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/featherie

Hey, Hector. I'm Sal. I wanted to tell you that it's OK if you don't want to continue to learn languages anymore. Please do not let anything get the best of you, either. I am very new to DuoLingo, but I can understand how you could be in this position. I encourage you to keep trying, no matter what happens. It's OK if you aren't motivated to do anything. I was in your position once, too. I learned from my mistakes, and I learned that just because your life seems as bad as it is, doesn't mean it's too late to change it. I would say you take a break. Take a break from the people around you, from the internet, from everything. Take a moment to find yourself. Think about it if this is how you want to fall apart. Everyone in this community is here for you. I'm here for you. Your idiot friends are here for you, and your family is here for you. This feeling might alarm you, I can understand why you would feel so tired and depressed about it. Talk to someone. I encourage you to get your life together, take walks, drink water & tea, write, draw, read, do anything you can to help yourself. I am so sorry you feel this way. This must be a terrible feeling for someone in your position to feel. Good luck, I wish you the very best. xoxo

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Louis604524

(1) You sound like you have some clinical depression. There are physical/health things that could be causing this. Try getting enough sleep. Avoid caffeine, sugars, carbs, or stronger intoxicants. Teenagers tend not to take good care of themselves (something I plead guilty to doing at your age), and I found that alot of what passes as "teenage angst" is simply side effects of bad diet and health habits. If this doesn't help, try to get to a mental health professional. Talking to good church clergy and ministers may help also.

(2) Since you're 17, things are going to change bigtime in your life over the next few years. Pre-university school is like a big free-for-all of diverse people, many of whom don't share your interests or whom, frankly, aren't as intelligent or serious than you. Over the years, if you keep plugging away and trying to improve your lot in life, you'll find yourself in improved social circles of more serious, intelligent, conscientious, sophisticated people. You're always going to have to deal with jerks, though, but you'll find yourself distanced from them some more.

(3) Don't worry about girls. Invest in yourself and make yourself the best person you can, and then the right girl will find you. The best romance advice I ever heard was from Tony Montana in the movie "Scarface": "You gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women." It's not necessarily "money" that will attract women, but achievement and distinction at something will. Also, the wrong woman or kind of women can really hold you back and tie you down; so if you want freedom to travel or get away from your current living situation, not kissing girls for the time being is a good thing.

(4) Don't worry about degrees, per say. The traditional brick-and-mortar university education is very soon going the way of the dinosaur. In the USA, where I live, the once highly-honored college education is now looked on as a $60,000-a-semester scam and a laughingstock. People care primarily about what skills you have and what you can do. Look to pass small certification tests and gain individual al-la-carte credentials. If you absolutely know you need a degree for something, get it in the quickest, cheapest, most convenient way possible.

(5) As soon as you're done with school, get out from under your family's influence as soon as you can. Even if it means living rough for a few years, you'll get to a sustainable lifestyle on your own in short time if you just work hard and take charge of your own life. Looking back on my own teenage angst and depression, it was actually a desire to go out and make my own thing with my own kind of people, eventually be the father of a household instead of just someone's son or younger brother. You don't have to cut yourself off totally from your family, but it improves things when you go achieve out on your own then reconnect with them years later.

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/DragonPolyglot
DragonPolyglot
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I understand what you're feeling. My second year of high school and the early part of my third year in that same school had me feeling the same way; I was bored, I didn't do anything productive, and I didn't make many friends. Everything also felt repetitive and like a zombie. I also had depression and lost many interests.

I think the first thing to do is to try to find something new. I know it sounds a bit snobbish at first, but the reason why they say it is because it works. My depression wasn't so bad after I started at a new school. You can even try doing a "new old thing". I learnt how to knit when I was smaller, and when I was depressed I didn't do it (for seven years). One day last year, I found my old needles and some yarn and said to myself "you know, I should knit again." Now I knit while watching videos on YouTube, or some anime (which I also picked up again recently). I feel happier now.

If you think you can talk to someone about your depression, try to. I'm fortunate that I could talk to my mother about my depression, and eventually I was given medicine to help it not be so bad. It can be a hard thing to talk about but if you know anyone who you can speak to privately about it and who will listen to you and try to help, you should say something.

Also, don't give in to peer pressure and standards for society. I am labeled as a weirdo, freak and sometimes even a "poor person" just because I don't fit into the crowd of people my age. So what if you're a teenager and never kissed a girl? It's my last year in high school and I don't have half the things other people my age have, because I had to choose to stay in school and my past situation didn't allow me to have time for other things and still be able to function like an average student. And I'm okay with that. We have our own reasons for not working or whatever.

It's also okay if you need to not learn languages. Maybe it's something that you rely on as an escape. Maybe it's something that you use to fix something that won't go away. Whatever it is, you also need to realize that sometimes you need to be direct and make the situation different. I can't tell you how, but I can tell you it's possible, even if it does take some shedding tears and fighting fears.

I'm sorry you feel this way and I'm sorry that I couldn't provide you with more advice. Please be safe and I hope you find a way out of it.

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/bookrabbit
bookrabbit
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17 is a difficult age, you are nearly but not quite an adult. Hang in there. You will gain control of your life and be able to make your own choices and meet new people and it could well be that all the languages that you have learned will give you extra choices and lead you to extra people and places. Try to be positive. Time passes and things get better.

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/MarionSweeney

Please don't take advice from strangers on the internet. One person suggested one on one with a therapist. I like that suggestion. It worked well for me years ago when I needed it.

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/autumn330
autumn330
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Hey Hector! Don't feel discouraged by those around you, or by how your classroom setting is, I've studied Spanish for 6 years in school and I've had so many teachers who just didn't really care about what they were teaching or their students either. If you love learning languages then keep up the good work! Even if you don't know what kind of job you want in the future, the languages you're learning are really useful to know and you'll definitely be able to use them in your future, even if that seems kinda far away. Don't feel too discouraged, focus on your goals to keep motivated(I know easier said than done). You're doing great! Keep it up!

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Thomas.Heiss
Thomas.Heiss
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Sorry to hear that about you.

Some ideas:

  • Get out of your house / appartement / room as often as you can.
  • Try to see daily light of the sun (Vitamin D, good for a better mood / feeling power).
  • Do 1,5-2h++ walkings, jogging, fitness studio.
  • Table tennis, basketball, football,...
  • Active water sports like: kitesurfing, surfing, windsurfing, wakeboarding (lake).....or go at least sports swimming.
  • Anything which gets your pulse pumping and make your hormons dance (and you WILL feel better afterwords!)
  • Fighting: Karate, Taekwondo, Jujutsu, Brazil Jiu Jitsu (meet new friends, share same interests, get out of your house 3+ days)

  • For example I really really like RC model flying, which you can do outside in the sun (well you need some green field):
    You really have to concentrate on the plane / heli / quad, so you take a rest of all the other stuff in your life and refill your power / concentrate on something different for a short while.
    There are also FPV racing PC simulators, there are heli/plane SIM's where you can fly the model with a real RC transmitter, etc.

  • Try to do that 180 degree flip on the things (probably not on all at the same time! :-) you don't like. Well, might be hard to start with school, teachers, etc., but start small.

  • If you want that things go better (or you can handle them better), you first need to try to change them.... ... or least try to find SOME things which give you power (refill) a view hours a day / per week (quite important: make your brain free), so you can try a little bit to arrange with the others (the idea is that those others things should not push you THAT down).


I know, it is easier to write / read than to applying in one's own real life...

Watching TV, movies, sitting (only) in front of your computer and locking in your room IMHO will not help much to get into a BETTER mood.
Whereas practicing your languages is a good thing. You could try to get certificates for one, if you need to see results.


How about Sao Paulo?
Can you even apply those above suggestion points to this city (going out, have green fields, beach/water, lakes, etc.)?
If not, maybe you really find a way to at least get out of the city over the weekends and travel to somewhere else??

What I personally had read in one blog article about this city...probably / maybe not (I can not judge directly).

All the best for you.
Don't let this stuff bring you completely down - fight against it!

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Thomas.Heiss
Thomas.Heiss
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Side note on doctors / therapists and analysing clinical depression (that is chronical long-term stress/overload, hormon, neurotransmitters malfunctions) + checking adrenal kidneys (=German: Nebennierenschwäche), thyroid sub-/over function / latent underactive, etc....):

It may make sense to follow the other suggestion to visit doctors, therapist for an analysis but please be also careful whom you (totally) trust.
Don't rely (only) on the 1st suggestion.
Always double+triple check other opinions (on the same facts / suggestions).
Please also make your own opinions. Learn to rely on / trust your stomache.

You might hear one sentence one time:
They all want "the best" of/for your.
.... followed by the 2nd part: "Your money".

Is that phrase known to anyone? Who has experienced that by himself/herself?


So before going the doctor/therapist route (and it's really unclear if it get's even worse with e.g half-correct suggestions or interpreting labor results wrong) and following all their medicine suggestions and their often also well-known health side effects (including some which are already known to SOME patients, but not necessarily the instruction leaflet or the doctor)....

....please double check if your health insurance covers those bills or if you have to pay for yourself up to amount X.

Otherwise having to pay bills which you (almost) / your family can't afford well won't be fun either.
Don't rely on the false opinion, that a (let's say all) doctor(s) will care about these facts automatically by himself..
They may not even tell you the truth about the true cost estimates before hand!

Take care.

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Thomas.Heiss
Thomas.Heiss
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Oh btw: Pretty good English!! Well done!

I am a bit searching for the dots. Where are they? :-)

Tip: You can edit and help formatting hitting enter key twice (paragraph) and adding " " double spaces at the end of the line for new lines.

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/RaisinCookie

Try a little more and If you still don't have a feel for it, try a new language. it is ok to drop a language if you don't like it.

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/boscoejoe14

hey bro, don't get too hard on yourself. just find something you want to do and just do it. you're 17, have some fun.! maybe go out and go somewhere different, find new friends that you really like and hang out with them. I feel bad about the way your family feels about you. maybe try talking to them about you feelings. I whish you the best of luck!;) p.s. if you want interesting books to read I know plenty. p.p.s. i think it's okay you haven't kissed a girl yet . maybe just wait a bit.

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Thomas.Heiss
Thomas.Heiss
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Hi Hector,

any news? How is it going for you?

It looks like that summer is over here in Germany...cold days with rain start.

1 year ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Thomas.Heiss
Thomas.Heiss
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Summer finally is here in Germany.
We had some good sunny days in May.

Any news Hector?

4 months ago
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