Short Swahili TRANSLATION HELP Please
I'm a linguist at UCL. I was hoping someone might be able to correct this translation of The North Wind and The Sun. Thank you for any help!
SWAHILI VERSION Msafiri amepatikana kati ya ubishi ulio sababishwa baina ya upepo wa kaskazini na jua. Walisikizana kwamba, atakaye sababisha msafiri kuitowa shuka anachofinika, atakuwa mshidi.
Basi upepo wa kaskazini ikanza kuipiga kwa nguvu, na Kila upepo upigwapo kwa nguvu zaidi, basi indivyo msafiri afinikwavyo mwili wote. Mwishowe upepo wa kaskazini ika amua kukubali kushindwa. Halafu jua ikanzaa kuwaka kwa nguvu, mpaka ikambidii msafiri kuivua ile shuka kwa ajili ya joto mwingi. Na kwa hayo, upepo wa kaskazini ikabidi atangaze kuwa jua ndio mshidi baina yao.
ENGLISH VERSION The North Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger, when a traveler came along wrapped in a warm cloak. They agreed that the one who first succeeded in making the traveler take his cloak off should be considered stronger than the other. Then the North Wind blew as hard as he could, but the more he blew the more closely did the traveler fold his cloak around him; and at last the North Wind gave up the attempt. Then the Sun shined out warmly, and immediately the traveler took off his cloak. And so the North Wind was obliged to confess that the Sun was the stronger of the two.
This is how I'd translate it (roughly, and as a proficient but non-native speaker :-) )
Wakati Upepo wa Kaskazini na Jua walikuwa wamebishana nani alikuwa mwenye uguvu zaidi, msafiri aliyefungwa na joho akawapitia. Wakakubaliana kwamba wa kwanza kumsabibisha msafiri avue joho yake atakuwa yule mwenye uguvu zaidi.
Upepo wa Kaskazini akaanza kuvuma na uguvu wote alikuwa nao, lakini wakati Upepo akaongeza uguvu, yule msafiri akafunika mwili mzima na joho yake. Hatimaye, Upepo wa Kaskazini akakata tamaa na akaacha. Halafu, Jua alianza kuwaka na uguvu, na msafiri akatoa joho yake. Kwa hiyo, ikabidi Upepo wa Kaskazini akubali kwamba Jua ndiye alikuwa mshindi.
Hi Branden, thank you so much for this! You really are a star. :-D
Not native, but would you be able to give me your background? First language, time spent speaking Swahili, etc? This is for a study so I should probably be able to qualify my translator's background and proficiency.
Out of interest: how off-the-wall is my translation?
Thank you again, and I can NOT wait for the Swahili course! :-D
I posted this background on myself in our first Course Update:
"Branden Ryan is the native English speaker on the Swahili-English team. Branden has lived all over the world and his educational background is in International Affairs/Politics and Spanish. He has lived in Tanzania since 2013 while serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer. He taught in the Lindi region and now lives in Dar es Salaam working with the Programming and Training Unit of Peace Corps Tanzania with a focus on gender equality programming."
I've been studying/speaking Kiswahili since I arrived in 2013, so for four years now!
In terms of the translation, there are some things that were more directly translated and then lost the same meaning, or became oddly constructed in Kiswahili.
Hi there, Branden, thank you so much for this! I'm so sorry I didn't answer beofre, but I didn't see you had responded! If you'd like, when this project is done, I can update you on it. :-D
I like the way u have started but let me correct a few things as follows;
Walikubaliana kwamba........ ( and not walisikilizana), Atakayesababisha msafiri kutoa shuka alilojifunika atakuwa ndiye mshindi. Upepo wa Kaskazini ukaanza kuvuma kwa nguvu, na kila ulipokuwa unavuma kwa nguvu ndivyo msafiri alizidi kujifunika mwili wote. Mwishowe upepo wa kaskazini ukakubali kushindwa. Hatimaye jua likaanza kuwaka mara moja, Msafiri akatoa shuka lake kwa sababu ya joto jingi. Hivyo upepo wa Kaskazini ulikubali kushindwa na kukiri kuwa jua ndiye mshindi
Haha, then you get this translation which is better than mine!
Though, I'd disagree with some pronouns, where saying "Jua lilianza" or "Upepo ulikubali" should be "alianza" or "alikubali" because the English is personifying them to the M/WA (people) noun class.
In Swahili we always put them accordingly to their noun classes.! Yes in English you can personifying objects but in Swahili we don't do that.!
Hi there, Emilian, thank you so much for this! I'm sorry for not getting back to you right away, but I didn't see a response notification. This work is great and it's of immeasurable help to me! :-D I just have a few questions for you.
What do you think about my translation? What is your assessment of it? Why do you make of the differences between your translation and Branden's?
What is your Swahili background? Is it your first language? If not, how long have you been speaking it?
I need to know about dialect. So would you be able to tell me what town/region you are from?
So just to be clear, your full translation is as follows?
Msafiri amepatikana kati ya ubishi ulio sababishwa baina ya upepo wa kaskazini na jua. Walikubaliana kwamba, atakayesababisha msafiri kutoa shuka alilojifunika atakuwa ndiye mshindi. Upepo wa Kaskazini ukaanza kuvuma kwa nguvu, na kila ulipokuwa unavuma kwa nguvu ndivyo msafiri alizidi kujifunika mwili wote. Mwishowe upepo wa kaskazini ukakubali kushindwa. Hatimaye jua likaanza kuwaka mara moja, Msafiri akatoa shuka lake kwa sababu ya joto jingi. Hivyo upepo wa Kaskazini ulikubali kushindwa na kukiri kuwa jua ndiye mshindi
I am not sure, but I messaged the three Swahili course contributors to see if they could help.