https://www.duolingo.com/profile/oozle2

French Phrases for Horrible People

http://yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au/~mongoose/french/phrases.html

From the site's description: "Most internet users are fully profficient(sic) in being obnoxious, but this is not much good if you can't do it in style. This is a web page designed to help you become more than "just another obnoxious nerd". It makes you distinctively obnoxious. People will remember you for years to come as a truly obnoxious person."

The website has great phrases such as, "I'd help you, but I don't like you," and, "Your children are very attractive. Are they adopted?"

March 8, 2014

42 Comments


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/EvanOdell

Well, Duo has already taught me how to tell someone they have an ugly niece, so I think I'm set.

March 8, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/ZelvaCZ

Lol you made my day.. a lingot for you ;)

March 10, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/dEhiN

I love that the French 'translation' for "Stop bothering me" is "Parle à mon cul, ma tête est malade", which literally means "Talk to my ass, my head is sick". Wow!

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/integra1

It's really a well-known and much used phrase...

March 10, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/GregHullender

Yeah, I think Duo has already equipped us well to insult people.

Mon requin peut manger ton dauphin!

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Andrealphus

This is useful, but I'm proud to say that I've never had to get rude in French. Actually it is one of few languages where I am polite in speaking. In English I am vulgar, have a slight Southern accent, and am kind of rude. My French teacher was the only one who ever made me apologize, so I often apologize in French now to people who don't speak the language.

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Robinola

my french teacher in high school taught us five ways of saying "I'm sorry" in french. He told us all of them were sarcastic, but in slightly different ways, which he also explained. i'd have to consult my notes to be specific...

March 10, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Andrealphus

My teacher felt that the things I said went beyond a "je suis desole" so I was to use a full on "je regrette," which infers that I am at fault and need to regret what I've done.

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/sabisteb

je suis désolée, mais il est désolé (in your case only on e but two é) ;-)))

March 13, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Arya.Stark

You MUST teach us!! There's a lingot in it for you if you do!

March 12, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/JC70

Cheers, ringard. Also try googling "casse-toi pov'con" for Sarkozy's famous contribution to this list

March 8, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/LoveMonkey53

Lol I'll have to take a peek. Thanks for sharing!

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/BastouXII

Love the disclaimer at the end !

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/S0S_90

@ Duolingo staff: What about making the next bonus lesson out of such phrases? I've read the discussions about insults and swearing and being age-appropriate, but among those phrase I've found nothing I would juge as inappropriate for children that are old enough to learn a language by Duolingo (e.g. at least old enough to read and write quite well).

As the flirting lesson the things learnt wouldn't be of much use, but it would be a lot of fun to do it. And I would remember words much more easily when they appear in such sentences than in "normal" ones.

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/CarlaCemborain

The "Helping others" section is great. Thanks for sharing this!

March 8, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/FrenchAddict7

Merci!

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/alc1997

too funny

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/puppy7989

Real-life obnoxious exchange in Paris (happened to a friend of mine) :

A young woman on the first day of a year long french exchange asked very politely

"Excusez-moi monsieur, pouvez-vous me dire l'heure qu'il est?"

He replied

"Je n'ai pas acheté ma montre pour vous dire l'heure!"

Then he walked off. :)

Worth remembering though that there are obnoxious people all over the world. Most of the french I have encountered over the years are polite and friendly (just more reserved than we are in Australia)

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/cincyfaith

I wonder how many french people think american tourist are crazy

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/portiaeliot

Ha - someone is going around downvoting every positive comment made to the poster. Let's shower oozle2 with love and lingots - have 10 on me oozle2

March 16, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/kayasam

OK.

March 8, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/sigmacharding

This is absolutely priceless!!! I marry you if... Wait a while till I read them :D...

March 8, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/oskalingo

And of course, a pleasant rejoinder to je t'aime is, moi, non plus.

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/BastouXII

I prefer Han Solo's answer to princess Leia : - I love you. - I know.

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/BastouXII

For the sake of language learning :

French : - Je t'aime. - Je sais.
Italian : - Ti voglio bene. - Io so.
Spanish : - Te quiero. - Yo sé.
German : - Ich liebe dich. - Ich weiß.

Sorry I don't know enough Portuguese to add it.

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/jessica.an690480

Portuguese :- Te amo. - Eu sei

March 12, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Ash2of6

=)

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Maradelosn17

kablai

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/TTANTAWY

The 'parle à mon cul' one cracked me up!

March 9, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/adri.vg.

JEJEJEJEJE OH LÀ LÀ!!! BON COURAGE!!!

March 10, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Lyric517

The first few merely drew a smile. That is, until I read "T'as une tête a faire sauter les plaques d'egouts!" And right then and there, I lost it.

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Ash2of6

My personal favourite would be the one mentioned in the main post- Your children are very attractive, are they adopted? It just sounds so awesomely innocent

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/SRAY101

I'm serious, like who would write such a silly thing.

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/chilvence

People with a sense of humour would. Get in the spirit of things!

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/SRAY101

Well I read it and I don't think it's that funny.

March 15, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/SRAY101

WELL, HELLO THERE

March 16, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/chilvence

I'm a horrible person, and I deeply appreciate this invaluable new resource. Much better than any phrasebook I have previously encountered. Well, apart from this one: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=lingua+latina+occasionibus+omnibus

March 11, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/portiaeliot

gave you a lingot - thanks!

March 13, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/elizabeth.843533

Oh such fun! Merci beaucoup

March 13, 2014

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/elizasawyer

is there an updated link for this? it doesn't seem to work any more and I would love to have a read!

July 3, 2015

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/BastouXII

I didn't find an updated link, but I did find something : the cached page of the last update. Enjoy!

July 3, 2015

https://www.duolingo.com/profile/elizasawyer

merci beaucoup!

July 4, 2015
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