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https://www.duolingo.com/Criculann

8th Weekly Lingots for Stories: On holidays!

Criculann
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Here's the next one: The 8th Weekly Lingots for Stories! You write a story in a language you are learning (if you're a native of or fluent in a language you aren't allowed to write in that one) and post it here, it's corrected by someone who's a native of or fluent in that language and you will get 1-7 lingots depending on how good your story is (considering points like orthography, vocabulary, grammar, style, execution of task and your current level).

Your stories are checked by: Me (German), jobsamuel (Spanish), gabriel007ss (French) and lourenco.vidotto (Portuguese)

If there's anyone who'd like to help correcting or donate lingots, write a message on my stream. We still need someone for Italian to cover all of Duo's languages!

This week's subject: You're on holidays! Tell us where and what happened. Write at least 80 words but it's highly encouraged to write more so you get more practise.

If you have a suggestion for next week's Lingots for Stories' topic, tell me.

Have fun writing stories in foreign languages!

4 years ago

20 Comments


https://www.duolingo.com/LeMaitre
LeMaitre
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My suggestion for the next week's topic : Write about your country and the languages spoken there. Well, I don't know whether it's really worthy to be considered, but it's just my opinion. :)

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Criculann
Criculann
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I like that one. 5 lingots for the topic!

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Noe010101
Noe010101
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I like it too. It seems to be rather hard, though, which makes me like it more;)

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/deguo
deguo
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Hace tres meses, yo viajé a Suecia para visitar mi novia. Ella solo estaba trabajando allá por cinco meses, pero yo no podía esperar. Además, era la navidad y quería estar con ella. El vuelo era muy barato porque nadie quiere ir a Estocolmo en diciembre. Cuando llegué, yo viajé en tren a Gotemburgo. Solo estábamos allá por tres días porque no hay mucho para hacer. Sin embargo, yo no quería salir. No obstante, nosotros fuimos a Dinamarca por una semana, y me encantó mucho. Por fin, para terminar el viaje, regresé a Estocolmo con ella por tres días. Ahora, estoy muy feliz porque ella está viviendo en Nueva York, y siempre decimos, "Si pudiéramos sobrevivir cinco meses el uno al otro, podemos sobrevivir todo."

Side note: Wow, this was a great exercise! Also, I have one question that I've been wondering about for a while: what's the difference between aquí and acá? Thank you!

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/jobsamuel

Hi nyguy! I'm going to review your story.

Mistakes

  1. "Ella sólo estaba trabajando allá por cinco meses". That sentence needs sólo (with accent) because it means only (she was working there only for five months); solo (without accent) means alone and it used with male subjects (Ex: El hombre estaba solo en su casa, el niño jugaba solo, Tu abuelo camina solo).
  2. "Sólo estábamos allá por tres días..." Same mistake.

Recomendations

  1. Hace tres meses viajé a Suecia para visitar mi novia. Without yo because looks better. Usually, we (spanish speakers) don't use yo before verbs, because verbs do the whole work (Ex. Volé de Holanda a New York, visité a mi hermana, canté mi canción favorita... We don't need yo.
  2. Cuando llegué, viajé en tren a Gotemburgo. Same recomendation.
  3. Sólo estuvimos allá por tres días porque no hay mucho para hacer. I changed estábamos with estuvimos because it expresses better the situation (We've been there only for three days...).
  4. Por fin, para terminar el viaje, regresé a Estocolmo con ella y estuve allá por tres días OR Finalmente, para terminar el viaje, regresé por tres dias a Estocolmo con ella.

Before wrap up this I have a question: Did you live far away from your girlfriend during five months? If the answer it's Yes, you should use pudimos instead of pudieramos (last sentence of your first paragraph's story) because it's something that you already did.

In other hand, there is no difference between Aquí y Acá, both are synonyms.

Well, I must say to you Congratulations! You have wrote a great story. I'll give 6 Lingots!

You only need to practice the use of accents; some words meaning change totally without accents. Keep practicing and just ask me if you have questions.

Saludos.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/SergioMarquez0

De hecho "acá" es una expresión muy chilanga (Habitantes del D.F., ciudad de Mexico) entre los jóvenes de cierta clase social, más que nada es una muletilla de las otras tantas que usan. Ejemplo de ello es cuando comentan "Se cree muy acá". Como cuando saludan y dicen ¿Qué onda?. Es más coloquial. En buen español se dice "ven acá" se dice "ven aquí".

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/jobsamuel

Es cierto que Acá es más informal si se compara con Aquí, sin embargo, no deja de ser sinónimo por ello: http://www.wordreference.com/sinonimos/ac%C3%A1

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/LeMaitre
LeMaitre
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This is the perfect time for such a topic! I've just come back from my last final exams and I'm on summer vacations now. In fact, I'm still in my school uniform. :P

J'ai attendu pour trois jours pour écrire mon histoire parce que j'ai fini mes examens finaux aujourd'hui et j'ai juste revenu de mon dernier examen. Franchement, je suis encore dans mon uniforme de l'école!

Enfin! Je suis libre, oui, totalement libre pour deux mois. Et je peux faire ce que je veux! Mais surtout, je peux utiliser Duolingo encore plus! Ces vacances je vais lire beaucoup des livres, et je vais apprendre beaucoup de français, d'allemand, de japonais et beaucoup des autres langues aussi. J'ai décidé que ces vacances vont être «un vacance des langues». Je suis très heureuse, et je ne peux pas croire encore que mes vacances d'été ont commencé! Mais, c'est vrai! Alors, je dois aller maintenant pour changer. Au revoir! C'est les vacances, finalement! Oui, les vacances d'été! :D

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/gabriel007ss

Awesome writing!!! Enjoy your summer holidays!!!! You only had confusion between 'ces' and 'ses'. 'Ces' is for objects. Since you are talking about your holidays, you write 'ses' Overall well done!!! 5 lingots for you!! Criculann will give it to you and I will award you an extra lingot for your summer holidays!!! Enjoy!! Your mistakes are below:

J'ai attendu pour trois jours pour écrire mon histoire parce que j'ai fini mes examens finaux aujourd'hui et je suis juste revenu de mon dernier examen. Franchement, je suis encore dans mon uniforme de l'école!

Enfin! Je suis libre, oui, totalement libre pour deux mois. Et je peux faire ce que je veux! Mais surtout, je peux utiliser Duolingo encore plus! Ses vacances je vais lire beaucoup des livres, et je vais apprendre beaucoup de français, d'allemand, de japonais et beaucoup des autres langues aussi. J'ai décidé que ses vacances vont être «un vacance des langues». Je suis très heureuse, et je ne peux pas croire encore que mes vacances d'été ont commencé! Mais, c'est vrai! Alors, je dois aller maintenant pour changer. Au revoir! C'est les vacances, finalement! Oui, les vacances d'été! :D

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/LeMaitre
LeMaitre
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Ok, thanks, I didn't know about that rule. So I've learnt something new now :)

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/gabriel007ss

Haha, yeah!!!

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Noe010101
Noe010101
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--é um relato imaginário--

Última férias passei em uma pequena aldeia no meu país.
Eu queria passar esse tempo junto com a filha do proprietário da casa, mas ela teve que ir logo que eu cheguei ao lugar.
Em qualquer caso, eu fiquei ali.
Tudo foi acordado com a menina e seu pai, de modo que a cabine estava a minha disposição.
Era uma velha, mas muito arrumada casa, decorada de forma tradicional.
O mais importante: a geladeira estava cheia!
Isso ia ser uma estadia de relaxamento para ambas.
Nós íamos passar os dias andando, falando, estando fora com a natureza, ao ar livre.
Como resultado, Fiquei sozinha. Eu dormia sozinha. Eu comia sozinha.
Eu não tinha ninguém com quem conversar.
Apesar de tudo, foi um tempo maravilhoso.
Eu me levantei muito cedo. Caminhava ao redor da fazenda.
Eu admirava os animais ea paisagem.
Sem telefone, internet, televisão.
Como um eremitério, embora com todas as comodidades.
Porque a água, eletricidade e luz estão lá.
E as noites as passava na escada, na frente da casa.
Eu observava os pores do sol, e, em seguida, me escondia na casa, como o vento começava a soprar com mais força, eo ar estava ficando mais frio.
Foi um tempo bem passado.

--I arranged it this way to read more easily.--

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/asdfagwer

Your mistakes are marked in brackets, my suggestions are in bold:

[Últimas] férias passei em uma pequena aldeia no meu país.

>> "Últimas" because "férias" is plural. You also could've written "Minhas últimas férias...", sounds smoother to me, but that's just me :)

Eu queria passar esse tempo junto com a filha do dono da casa, mas ela teve que ir embora logo que eu cheguei ao lugar.

>> "dono" is less harsh, stiff or formal than "proprietário". >> I added "embora" because it specifies that she had to go and didn't return. Your sentence wasn't tecnically wrong, but it sounded like something was missing. It might raise the question: "onde ela teve que ir?" and you would answer: "embora!" "ahh! entendi" :)

Em todo caso, eu fiquei ali.

>> I think both are ok here grammatically, but "em todo caso" sounds better to me. I can't really explain why :(

Tudo foi arranjado com a menina e seu pai, de modo que a cabine estava [à] minha disposição.

>> "acordado" is correct, but it is also the word for "waken up". This doesn't mean you have to change it, your sentence was clear enough, but I thought it'd be helpful to show you this and give you an alternative.

Era uma casa velha, mas muito arrumada, decorada de forma tradicional. O mais importante: a geladeira estava cheia! =]

>> Your sentence was correct, yet sound kind of "epic". Not necessarily a bad thing :) The way I rearranged it is more natural, the substantive before the adjectives.

Esta ia ser uma estadia de relaxamento para ambas. Nós íamos passar os dias andando, conversando, tendo contato com a natureza, ao ar livre.

>> "estando fora" is weird. "passeando ao ar livre, tendo contato com a natureza". >> "falando" sounds like you were just throwing words in the air, taking no notice of their meanings and offering them to the nothingness of the darkening sky above. "conversando" is a better fit here, seeing that you would be talking to someone and spend your time having nice conversations.

Como resultado, Fiquei sozinha. Dormia sozinha. Comia sozinha. Eu não tinha ninguém com quem conversar. Apesar de tudo, foi um tempo maravilhoso.

>> We don't need all those "eu", the verbs are already indicating the first person. And it avoids repetition.

Eu me [levantava] muito cedo. Caminhava ao redor da fazenda. Admirava os animais e a paisagem. Sem telefone, internet, televisão.

>> "levantava" to match the story being told using the "pretérito imperfeito".

Como um refúgio, embora com todas as comodidades. Porque havia água, eletricidade e luz.

>> I had to look up "eremitério", never read or heard it. If my search was succesful, you meant an isolated place. "Refúgio" is a more common word. Please correct me if I misunderstood you.

E as noites[,] as passava na escada, na frente da casa.

>> Just the comma here. This sentence is so beautiful, musical. E as noites,.... as passava na escada... This is an unusual way of phrasing this, but very elegant.

Eu observava os [pores-do-sol], e, em seguida, me escondia na casa, pois o vento começava a soprar com mais força, e o ar começava a ficar mais frio. Foi um tempo bem aproveitado.

>> "pôr-do-sol" requires the hifen, it's a compound substantive that begins with a verb.

>> "pois" is better here. "como" would be better at the beginning: "como eu gostava de chocolate, eu comi tudo!". "eu comi tudo, pois gostava de chocolate!".

>> "estava ficando" sounds like at that instant it was getting colder. Your sentence, however, suggests that you watched the sunset everyday (or with some periodicity) and everytime after the sunset, the winds got stronger, and the air colder. My suggestion fits this better.

>> "tempo bem passado" sounds weird to me. I gave you an alternative, although I know some people (older people) that would say "tempo bem passado". Just a suggestion, though :)

Awesome text, only minor mistakes, you have a very good grasp of the language. I will give you your 7 well-deserved lingots. Keep writing =]

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Noe010101
Noe010101
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Thank you very much! Another great correction of the text of mine. You did get what I meant in every sentence. I am still making loan translations from Spanish (and even from Polish oO) Your suggestions also very useful. A really diligent assessment which deserves some lingots, but it would be a bit counter-productive;)

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/asdfagwer

Thanks :) Yeah, Spanish, so close and yet so distant. Usually, it's not a bad thing to do this, seeing that the two languages often share many things. But, in some cases the meaning changes completely, so you just need to be careful :)

P.S.: I read your other text, and I'm gonna review it tomorrow propably, when I have more time. There are some deeper things there that needs some thinking. :P

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/Noe010101
Noe010101
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Perfecto, no hay apuro:)

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/BarbaraMorris
BarbaraMorris
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Yo estaba en un viaje por bicicleta. Una tarde, miré un juego de béisbol en un pueblo muy pequeño. Dos hombres habían mirando el juego también. Después de una conversación agradable, ellos me invitaron a ver su "hunting lodge" (pabellón de caza?) que estaba unos kilometros de distancia. Yo dije que sí, y ellos pusieron mi bicicleta en su coche y condujeron al pabellón. El pabellón fue muy bonito, pero yo empezaba a sentir más y más estupida, porque yo estaba lejos de otra gente con dos hombres extraños. Tal vez los hombres dieron cuenta que yo estaba nerviosa, y tal vez ellos estaban pensando lo mismo, porque después de solo cinco minutos, dijeron que estaba tiempo para volver. Ellos me volvieron al pueblo, y yo dije "¡Gracias!" y ellos dijeron "Adiós" y "¡Bon voyage!"

Estaba preocupado por nada. Ellos estaban caballeros. Pero yo estaba todavía muy estupida.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/jobsamuel

Hi Barbara! I haven't read this story. Let's me review it.

Mistakes

  1. "El pabellón fue muy bonito, pero yo empezaba a sentirme más y más estúpida". You need to conjugate the verb "sentir" in order to make the sentence correct. Or you might say this "pero yo **me empezaba a sentir más y más..." if you don't want to conjugate "sentir".
  2. "Ellos me llevaron de vuelta al pueblo" OR "Ellos regresaron al pueblo y me dejaron allí". There are many ways to say that but me volvieron al pueblo it isn't one of those.
  3. "No estaba preocupada por nada". You need No in order to express the sentence properly, without it the sentence has not much sense. In addition, remember that preocupado is male and preocupada is female; you are female, so you need the last one.
  4. "Ellos eran caballeros". Remember, "To be" in Spanish is Ser or Estar. This sentence needs Ser instead of Estar (Ser = What you are, who you are. Estar = Where you are). I know this could be confusing in Spanish but you could do it well.
  5. "Pero yo era todavía muy estúpida". Same mistake, remember the meaning of "To be" in Spanish.

Recomendations

I have no one :D

You did a great job as always. Keep practicing the words' genders and verb "To be" because are REALLY important.

I'll give you 6 Lingots!

Saludos para ti.

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/BarbaraMorris
BarbaraMorris
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¡Muchas gracias, jobsamuel!

I think "No estaba preocupada por nada" means "I wasn't worried about anything". I meant to say "I was worried for nothing", meaning "I was worried for no reason". I should have realized that "worried for nothing" is an idiomatic usage that would not translate directly to Spanish.

Is this better? "No tenía ningúna razón para preocuparme."

4 years ago

https://www.duolingo.com/jobsamuel

Yes, it's 100% better!

4 years ago