The worst thing someone can say to you when you've lost a streak?
I know the kinds of things that I don't like people to say to me when I've lost something I personally held to be important. But, what about you?
What's the worst thing someone can say to you when you've lost a streak?
(Please don't use this moment to express how you think others should feel when they lose a streak.)
And alternatively, what's the best thing they can say to you, personally?
The worst is being told it's not that important. I don't want to be told what should and shouldn't be important to me. The streak is important to me because I know how well it works with my psychology and losing it would be bad for my personal psychology. I know the language learning is the most important thing, but when I lost one ages ago, that did not make me feel one bit better and I just felt annoyed at anyone who said it. I obviously already knew that the language learning was the most important thing, so it also comes off as patronizing. Obviously I don't come back to build up a number on someone else's server, but the number is also motivation to keep coming back.
The best thing is being told you can get back up and do it again, to keep going, to not lose heart. Danish happened to be released the day I lost my last streak, so I took it upon myself to make it the day I started my Danish journey.
Hmm, I'm not actually sure. I've lost a streak of 511 days... I can't really think of a 'worst' case thing but that's probably just attributed to my own personal outlook on streaks after having lost a big one. As for the best thing, I think something along the lines of encouragement for the reinforcement of what you've learned not having been lost would be best for me; that is, even though the number's gone the knowledge isn't (again, this hinges greatly on my personal outlook on streaks now, since others could easily find that patronizing and dismissive of their hard work).
Best thing? This post. I've never posted a discussion specifically about losing my streak, but if I did, I want it to be something so positive and memorable as this. It's such a happy post, with so much love, it makes me feel like maybe losing a streak isn't too bad a thing, with such a great community! <3
I agree. Food is a short term substitute comfort. However, hugs are also short term. Both show love and acceptance and can give one the strength to get up again if the lost streak was important to the person. Let's encourage and love each other on this site and understand that we are all different, with different needs.
You can send me hugs and chocolate any time you want!!!
Wouldn't it be nice if we could all be kind to each other here? We could do random acts of kindness.
I don't know how to send pictures, but I do know how to send hugs.
Anyway, we can give lingots and upvote to affirm people.
Maybe upvoting randomly would not be approved of as it could alter the dynamic of the forum by moving posts around. So not such a good idea?
Have a lingot!
Worst-Rule 15 of the Internet: “The harder you try, the harder you fail.”
Strangely, the worst thing someone could tell me when I lose a streak (for me, not on the behalf of others) is also the best thing someone could tell me. Basically, it's being told to "get over it".
To be honest, I have never cared about keeping a streak. Specifically, I lost the care for it ever since I first lost it. Though, I know that people use it as a motivator, so streaks aren't meaningless at all.
In my case, I have a hard time accepting failure, so if someone told me to basically get over it, it would hurt. It would hurt... Then, I would really soak in reality. Time still ticks. The world is still spinning. People are moving. Why can't I?
I still get a bit frustrated when I lose a 30 day streak, but it must be worse for those who lose +100 day streak because to some people, it means they worked for nothing. I would tell those defeated people, "As long as you got something valuable and beneficial from it, then it couldn't have been for nothing."
I'm sort of used to the "harsh truth" kind of talk from others since I'm very sensitive in failing tasks, so I'm definitely not telling people to "get over it". However, if told to me personally, I would certainly gain resilience from being told that, no matter how harsh.
Most likely, it might be when someone tells you to have a streak freeze always equipped, or that it's not all important, and is simply a source of motivation. People might not realize that motivation is the key; without it, where would you be? A streak is something you can hold on to, motivation to come each day and learn something in a foreign language. It's hard for me to explain this, since I haven't yet lost a streak, which simply proves how much of a motivation source it is.
As for the best thing, it would most likely be when someone tells you that you can rise up again. After you've lost it, starting the journey again is really a great thing, even if you have an utterly different goal than previously! Not giving up is what's important too; everyone loses it at some point, but starting again will always be an option you can choose.
Thanks for bring this up, it was an interesting topic to choose (as you always do). Good luck to anyone who's planning to start up a streak again!
I think the best thing to tell someone who has lost a streak is something encouraging so they'll keep learning languages anyway.
They say "Every cloud has a silver lining". I don't know if that would the best thing or the worst thing to say.
Another thing is there are worse things in life that someone could lose..
Compared to those things, a streak is not that big a deal.
When I lost my 2 streaks, nobody said anything good or bad to me about it, because I never told anybody at the time, just started over.
The main thing about a big streak is getting lots of lingots every 10 days. I'll be getting 68 lingots in 4 more days.
Probably the best thing maybe would be to give the streak loser some lingots, but lots of times people don't want lingots.
The worst thing would probably be "That sucks. I lost a [longer] day streak once." Might be true, but the one-up wouldn't make me feel any better! For some reason, people often seem inclined to say that sort of thing anyway. Maybe they're trying to say they understand how it feels, or that it could be worse. It just doesn't come across that way at the time.
As for the best? Probably just a simple 'I'm sorry :('. There's nothing either of us can actually do to fix it once it's already lost. A bit of honest sympathy is the next best thing.
For me, the worst response would be (should have...), (why didn't you....) or (Normally, "I" ........), because these would be things I may want to be told BEFORE the streak loss, not after it, or later when I have felt better. The best response would be a way to repair the streak. If not, a compassionate smile, and a pat on the head (or a picture of a rabbit/cat/undefined cute anime creature being patted on the head for online conversations) will do; no words needed.
I think it's good to prepare in advance for all kinds of things, where that is possible. I had noticed that people seem distressed at loosing streaks, so I tried to prepare myself...how would I feel if I lost my streak? Disappointed? Sad? Angry? I honestly don't know! Thus I cannot say what the worst thing is that people could say. But, when I look at the world around (from a position of not having lost a streak, admittedly) I see just how trivial losing a streak is in comparison to tragedies around I think that someone helping me get things into true perspective would be the most helpful thing. (And for me 'cookies' don't help so much, but chocolate...there's a different story...did you know that chocolate helps in every situation where Jesus can't...?) Now, this is answering for myself, so, if it helps no-one else or if others think it bunkum please don't vote it down. Voting down anyone's personal views is equivalent to voting down the person! So, if I do come to a discussion expressing upset at having lost a streak, I would find it very hard if I my contribution were voted down as it would be equivalent to voting me down personally.
I don't care for streaks personally, so I can't really speak for myself here. However, as far as good things for the more common case of lamented streak loss, I feel like, "Hey, go grab your phone; go to the app; you can probably pay to get it restored" deserves a mention somewhere in this discussion.
Worst: "Wow, you lost your streak at days, I have a streak of _ days! You're terrible, you should quit now!
Best: That's ok, I've lost a big streak before too. I'm sure you can get a higher streak than that in you're sleep! Here, you can join my streak competition to stay motivated. Good job for getting such an amazing streak, keep up the good work!
This doesn't answer your question exactly but in a discussion about streak freezes that took place not too long ago someone called me a liar. Basically, I was defending the use of streak freezes and the other person called me a liar for having ever used them, implying that somehow my 400 plus day streak was fake and not real. He really did use the word "lie" or "liar" about me on that thread.
Yeah, that's pretty crappy when people say that around me too. I don't think some people realize that people can have goals different from their own, including the reason why they are keeping a streak. There is a certain, self-centered hubris (and often a fair bit of ableism) to their oblivious comments.
I have yet to lose a streak, as I've had my current one (157 days, as of now) since I first created my account with Duolingo. However, I will be gone and without Internet access for a week starting in a few days, hence when I return I'll need to restart. So I write this in anticipation of my feelings in a couple weeks, when I come back to Duolingo and a 0-day streak.
The worst thing someone could say to me, I imagine, would actually be to make a big deal out of it. "Oh, I'm so sorry, that sounds terrible!" Yeah, I'll be disappointed to lose the streak - I'm proud that I've kept going for 157 days straight (using only a couple freezes) since starting with Duolingo, and it'll probably be a bit disheartening to start anew from 0, but the last thing I need is for people to make it out to be a tragedy and make me feel worse. The other worse thing to be said to me would be to criticize me for losing the streak: "You should have known better than to go so long without practicing", "If you'd only bought a streak freeze..." [aside from anything else, that doesn't work for an entire week's absence], etc.
As for the best, being reminded that the streak is just a number would actually be reassuring for me, I think, although I realize that others feel very differently. Express sympathy that circumstances forced me to lose the streak, sure, but reassure me that it's not a big deal, and in the end, it doesn't say anything about my language skills. I may have lost the streak number, but I didn't lose the knowledge I gained in 157 (actually, 160+, presuming I keep this up until the time I leave) days of practice, and that's what counts. I'm not on Duolingo to build a high number on the top of my screen - I'm on Duolingo to build a store of knowledge in the languages I'm learning. The streak doesn't have any impact on that, as long as I personally know that the number isn't gone because I was "slacking", rather for a good reason. (No Internet access.)
Great! I've also been away on holiday and had an enjoyable time. Walked in the Swiss Alps for the first time. Day one was about 35 deg C and swam in Brienzersee, and last day was about -2 deg C walking in a winter wonderland of snow. Amazing...
I thought I might lose my streak, but there was just enough wifi to keep it. Not gloating, of course. I would have been willing to lose my streak to experience what I experienced. You might be interested in my post on how I didn't lose my streak while on holiday: