Hi, would you give "some feedback" to me?

[EPOSantos]

I wrote a little text in my native language first, and then I tried to write it again in English. I'd like to know if this makes sense and if I have made some mistakes (or not). I feel that my English has gotten better since the last time I tried to write something in another language, so I'm pretty confident that I've improved since then

THE LITTLE TEXT <

"Home is not a place, a house, or the things we own. Home is in the people we love and the things we believe in. Where we feel good, that's our home."

[LaCroixRouge141]

Well you are missing captialization, but everything else is okay.
I am american and you get 2 thumbs up.

[EPOSantos]

Thanks! Yes, I know. That's a bad habit that I have. I always do that when I use my cel, even in my native language. I need stop doing that. rs

[Jesse_620]

Very good! But don't forget to capitalize the first word of each sentence.

[EPOSantos]

Thank you! Not capitalizing the first word is something I usually do when I use my cell phone. It's a bad habit, I know. rs

To be honest, I'm not so used to write in English and because of that I'm quite insecure about what I know.

[ChristinaM737788]

There is a few grammar errors, and honestly, even native speakers make some quite often. For example, the "is" in the sentence I just wrote should be an "are", and that is a common English mistake.

You'll want a comma after "house". List are separated by commas when there is more than two items in it. The colon, after good, should be a comma. A colon is used after a complete sentence. That isn't one, since it has a "where." Honestly, I had to google everything to make sure.

It is very well written! In only a few sentences, you capture a very strong sentiment. The reader knows exactly what your talking about. :)

[EPOSantos]

Thank you! As I've said, I wrote it in my native language first, which is Portuguese, and again in English. I didn't change anything, neither the punctuation.

I think I made the mistakes in my own language, isn't funny? I need to improve my first language, too. haha

[mwbrand1]

English is my native language and I believe what you wrote is clear and concise. It's a very nice sentiment as well. Well done!

[EPOSantos]

Thanks! I'm glad I could express these things in another language. It makes me feel part fulfilled, because I know how much I did in this one year to achieve where I am now. Be fluent in English is my dream, since as a child. I'll get there!

[OrcasNeedViolins]

I think you did a very good job! It was very clear and I had no problem understanding it!

[SmashCookie]

Your other text has some mistakes though, do you want someone to correct you?

[EPOSantos]

Anything that can help me is welcome.

[Dcarl1]

First of all, your English is excellent. Clear and understandable. The text is lovely! I might choose to say “Home is the people we love...” rather than “Home is in the people we love,” as home is an abstract concept and not a physical place. To me this is more fluid. However, I would note that this is an editorial decision (style) and not a grammar mistake.

As for the lead-in paragraph, it has a few grammatical errors, which I have corrected below. I would note these errors do not affect its legibility, but they do flag the writing as from a non-native speaker:
“Would you give feedback (or “some feedback”) to me?

I wrote a little text in my native language first, and then I tried to write it again in English. I'd like to know if this makes sense and if I have made some mistakes (or not). I feel that my English has gotten better since the last time I tried to write something in another language, so I'm pretty confident that I've improved since then.”

[Dcarl1]

Note the major issues in the correction above are alignment of tenses, and correction of verb tenses. Generally the tense within any given sentence needs to be consistent.

[EPOSantos]

Thank you so much! I really never used the word "feedback" in any sentence before, so I didn't know how to use it (I've just seen it at websites). Well, about the tenses, I don't know, ever, when I should use Simple Past and Present Perfect.

[Dcarl1]

Feedback is considered an uncountable (general) noun, so it is not enumerated.

As for tenses...I hear you! I I get completely lost in all the Italian tenses. One of my goals for 2018 is develop greater facility with them.

[EPOSantos]

Yes, I got the "uncountable" part by the "some", after your review. Thanks, again.

Tenses, tenses, tenses... We always need to develop them, right? I know I have some difficult with tenses, that's why I'll focus on that in 2018.

I also know that it takes many years to be totally fluent at any language. And then, I see myself in the next years so much better at English. I'm not gonna give up.

[Tim613889]

I'm impressed! You write better than most native English speakers.