Hi, would you give "some feedback" to me?
I wrote a little text in my native language first, and then I tried to write it again in English. I'd like to know if this makes sense and if I have made some mistakes (or not). I feel that my English has gotten better since the last time I tried to write something in another language, so I'm pretty confident that I've improved since then
THE LITTLE TEXT <
"Home is not a place, a house, or the things we own. Home is in the people we love and the things we believe in. Where we feel good, that's our home."
17 Comments
Well you are missing captialization, but everything else is okay. I am american and you get 2 thumbs up.
Thanks! Yes, I know. That's a bad habit that I have. I always do that when I use my cel, even in my native language. I need stop doing that. rs
Very good! But don't forget to capitalize the first word of each sentence.
Thank you! Not capitalizing the first word is something I usually do when I use my cell phone. It's a bad habit, I know. rs
To be honest, I'm not so used to write in English and because of that I'm quite insecure about what I know.
There is a few grammar errors, and honestly, even native speakers make some quite often. For example, the "is" in the sentence I just wrote should be an "are", and that is a common English mistake.
You'll want a comma after "house". List are separated by commas when there is more than two items in it. The colon, after good, should be a comma. A colon is used after a complete sentence. That isn't one, since it has a "where." Honestly, I had to google everything to make sure.
It is very well written! In only a few sentences, you capture a very strong sentiment. The reader knows exactly what your talking about. :)
Thank you! As I've said, I wrote it in my native language first, which is Portuguese, and again in English. I didn't change anything, neither the punctuation.
I think I made the mistakes in my own language, isn't funny? I need to improve my first language, too. haha
787
English is my native language and I believe what you wrote is clear and concise. It's a very nice sentiment as well. Well done!
Thanks! I'm glad I could express these things in another language. It makes me feel part fulfilled, because I know how much I did in this one year to achieve where I am now. Be fluent in English is my dream, since as a child. I'll get there!
I think you did a very good job! It was very clear and I had no problem understanding it!
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Your other text has some mistakes though, do you want someone to correct you?
First of all, your English is excellent. Clear and understandable. The text is lovely! I might choose to say “Home is the people we love...” rather than “Home is in the people we love,” as home is an abstract concept and not a physical place. To me this is more fluid. However, I would note that this is an editorial decision (style) and not a grammar mistake.
As for the lead-in paragraph, it has a few grammatical errors, which I have corrected below. I would note these errors do not affect its legibility, but they do flag the writing as from a non-native speaker:
“Would you give feedback (or “some feedback”) to me?
I wrote a little text in my native language first, and then I tried to write it again in English. I'd like to know if this makes sense and if I have made some mistakes (or not). I feel that my English has gotten better since the last time I tried to write something in another language, so I'm pretty confident that I've improved since then.”
Note the major issues in the correction above are alignment of tenses, and correction of verb tenses. Generally the tense within any given sentence needs to be consistent.
Thank you so much! I really never used the word "feedback" in any sentence before, so I didn't know how to use it (I've just seen it at websites). Well, about the tenses, I don't know, ever, when I should use Simple Past and Present Perfect.
Feedback is considered an uncountable (general) noun, so it is not enumerated.
As for tenses...I hear you! I I get completely lost in all the Italian tenses. One of my goals for 2018 is develop greater facility with them.
Yes, I got the "uncountable" part by the "some", after your review. Thanks, again.
Tenses, tenses, tenses... We always need to develop them, right? I know I have some difficult with tenses, that's why I'll focus on that in 2018.
I also know that it takes many years to be totally fluent at any language. And then, I see myself in the next years so much better at English. I'm not gonna give up.
