https://www.duolingo.com/modspyder

Kata 1 - Je me décris

tl;dr - I need help proofreading the bold French text below. I want to use it in memorization exercises but need to make sure that 1) It's grammatically correct, and 2) that it sounds somewhat natural in the French language.

I am currently working on a language exercise and I need some help from more experienced speakers (hopefully native when possible). In martial arts, they use a training method known as "kata". Here is an excerpt from Wikipedia on kata:

Kata originally were teaching and training methods by which successful combat techniques were preserved and passed on. Practicing kata allowed a company of persons to engage in a struggle using a systematic approaches, rather By practicing in a repetitive manner the learner develops the ability to execute those techniques and movements in a natural, reflex-like manner. Systematic practice does not mean permanently rigid. The goal is to internalize the movements and techniques of a kata so they can be executed and adapted under different circumstances, without thought or hesitation. A novice’s actions will look uneven and difficult, while a master’s appear simple and smooth.[1]

I've seen programming classes apply this concept to learning programming and I thought it could also be applied to learning languages. My idea - to create several prose that I can use to talk about myself, my life, the things around me, etc. Then I can memorize these and rehearse them over and over, getting common sentences and sentence forms ingrained into my thinking that I can recall more reflexively in a natural situation.

The help I need is in editing the prose I come up with. I need help making sure that they are correct. Here are the things I am concerned with: 1. Correct spelling and grammar 2. Natural speaking, and culturally intuitive statements.

I am clearly going to be clunky in the beginning, but would deeply appreciate any feedback on what I could improve within my "kata". Here is my first one - "Je me décris" (I have changed some personal details for anonymity):

Je m'appelle Orev. J'habite aux États-Unis. J'ai trente ans. J'ai une mère et deux soeurs. J'ai les cheveux bruns. Ce sont courts. J'ai les yeux bleus. Je fais six pied un de haut.

J'habite une maison. Il y a une chambre et quatre pièces en total. Ma maison est petite, mais je l'aime.

Je suis bricoleur. Je travaille pour une entreprise d'apartements. Je répare la plomberie, les appareils électromenagers, et plusiers d'autres choses.

J'aime faire plusieurs choses. J'aime lire, dessiner, et écrire. Actuellement, j'apprends le francais et programmer tout seul. Je veux apprendre plus de langues après le francais. Il faut que je recommence à m'entraîner.

Again, I know that my first attempt is very basic and simplistic, but I would love any advice to improve it so that when I work on the memorization phase, it'll be more beneficial. If this turns out well, I will likely end up doing many more of these and seeking further help. Thanks in advance!

February 4, 2018

4 Comments


https://www.duolingo.com/Sitesurf

Je m'appelle Orev. J'habite aux États-Unis. J'ai trente ans. J'ai une mère et deux soeurs. J'ai les cheveux bruns et courts. J'ai les yeux bleus. Je mesure un mètre quatre-vingt-cinq.

J'habite une maison. Il y a une chambre et quatre pièces au total. Ma maison est petite, mais je l'aime.

Je suis bricoleur. Je travaille pour une entreprise d'appartements (I am not sure I understand what "une entreprise d'appartememnts" actually means). Je répare la plomberie, les appareils électromenagers, et plusieurs autres choses.

J'aime faire plusieurs choses. J'aime lire, dessiner (no comma) et écrire. Actuellement, j'apprends le francais et à programmer (ou "la programmation") tout seul. Je veux apprendre plus de langues après le francais. Il faut que je recommence à m'entraîner.

February 4, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/modspyder

Merci beaucoup pour ton aide! Quand je dis "une entreprise d'appartements", je veux dire a company that manages apartments, ou an apartment complex. Je ne sais pas comment décrire cette situation en français.

Et, quand je dis il faut que je recommence à m'entraîner, est-ce clair que je veux dire faire une exercice?

February 4, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/--Jeremys--

is it possible to say that in a little of a shorter version I do not have time to read all of it if you can reply thankyou

February 4, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/modspyder

I've added a tl;dr

February 4, 2018
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