https://www.duolingo.com/Io-Moi-Yo-Ich-Ik

Searching English Native Speaker to correct my texts

Hey there,

I'll have my high school graduation exams (Abitur) soon and thereby my final exams including English (C1). Therefore, I am searching someone who is willing to correct texts I wrote so that I can improve my English skills. I exchange, I can, after my graduation, help you learning German (I'm a German native) or learning French. And if you want any lingots, you can get them as well. :) I would be glad if someone is willing to help me! Vincent :)

3/21/2018, 7:18:23 PM

29 Comments


https://www.duolingo.com/masongf
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I don't think the differences between "searching for/looking for," or talk about "second conditionals" are important. It unnecessarily complicates things.

I'd keep corrections simple. No adding stylistic changes.

3/22/2018, 6:40:41 AM

https://www.duolingo.com/Luscinda
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You are searching for someone and they can have some lingots as well. If you search something, you are looking inside it - a suitcase or a house, perhaps. We search for something that we need to find - keys or a book. So the police searched the house when they were searching for the robber, or you searched your suitcase because you were looking for your other T-shirt.

If I were you, I would avoid using 'thereby' completely. It is not used that much in general conversation, and it is easy to get the usage wrong.

Was there something you wanted us to check just now, Vincent?

3/21/2018, 7:21:16 PM

https://www.duolingo.com/Io-Moi-Yo-Ich-Ik

Hey Luscinda, thanks for your response! Recently, I wrote text for school, but since we have vacations now, my teacher won't correct it. So, if you've got the time, you can read through it. But don't worry if you can't! (It's about a book we read in school.)

Every decision we make is based on our experiences. Therefore, we need to study the life of a person and as a consequence thereof the experience which the person had. Basically, Jeannette Walls chose the same method to understand her family with which she had had a lot of problems throughout her life. Hence, she reconstructed the life of her family and especially of her grandmother who is the main character in the book. I am certain that she obtained another perspective of her family's life after her research, in which she probably look through historical documents and talked a lot to her family members. Jobs tell a lot about one's personality. Thus, the jobs Lily had might help us to understand what kind of a person Lily was. Most probably, Walls described the jobs Lily had had based on facts. It requires a certain personality to become a teacher, as Lily did, or even to be a domestic help which Lily was, too. But here is the catch: we do not really know to what extent the novel is based on facts. Let's exemplify that: We know that Lily was a teacher and Walls probably also knows, based on hearsay that Lily had a "strong" character. But do we really know that Lily did beat children or was that something Walls made up because she considered it possible? Hard to tell. And this problem runs throughout the book. What did Walls fictionalise and what is actually true? Of course, we have to admit that Walls did certainly not intend to present a book which shows genuinely Lily's life. So, if we consider the tough childhood Walls had, in which she even did not want to go back home after she had been taken to hospital because she considered the hospital more comfortable than her home, we will come to the conclusion that it is natural that she wants to understand why she had to live in very different circumstance compared to a normal person. Therefore, we should not understand "Half Broke Horses" as a general attempt to display the life of Walls's family but rather as Jeannette Walls's personal explanation of her family members. It does not matter that she fictionalised certain scenes in the book because she just wants to display how it could have been. In other words, we cannot consider the book as an attempt to explain the protagonists genuinely but rather as a product of Walls's fantasy through which she tries to overcome her personal problems with her family.

So', if you've got time, you can take a look at it. :) Vincent

3/21/2018, 8:35:02 PM

https://www.duolingo.com/Luscinda
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How about something like this:

Every decision we make is based on our experiences. We need to study the life of a person as a consequence of their experiences. [hmm. The choices are an outcome of experiences but the experiences also make up the life. In the light of their experiences?] Jeannette Walls chose this method to understand her family, with whom she had experienced a lot of problems throughout her life. Therefore, Walls reconstructed the life of her family, and especially that of her grandmother, who is the main character in the book. I am certain that she obtained a new perspective on her family's life as a result of her research, in which she probably looked through historical documents and talked a lot to her family members. Jobs reveal a lot about one's personality. Thus, the jobs Lily had might help us to understand what kind of a person Lily was. Most probably, Walls described the jobs Lily had had based on facts. It requires a certain personality to become a teacher, as Lily did, or even to be a domestic help [something like: as she was in her youth? I don’t know the book, but you don’t want a second sentence that uses ‘Lily’ twice]. But here is the catch: we do not really know to what extent the novel is based on facts. For example, we know that Lily was a teacher and Walls probably also knows, based on hearsay that Lily had a "strong" character. But do we really know that Lily beat children or was that something Walls made up because she considered it possible? It is hard to tell. And this problem runs throughout the book. [Does it run throughout the book or is the problem a problem for the reader trying to work out certain information about the author’s subject’s life?] What did Walls fictionalise and what is actually true? Of course, we have to admit that Walls certainly did not intend to present a book which shows the simple facts of Lily's life. If we consider the tough childhood Walls had, in which she even did not want to go back home after she had been taken to hospital because she considered the hospital more comfortable than her home, it seems natural that she wants to understand why she had to live in very different circumstance from those of other children [or families?] around her. Therefore, we should understand "Half Broke Horses" not as a straightforward account of the life of Walls's family but rather as Jeannette Walls's personal explanation of her family members. It does not matter that she fictionalised certain scenes in the book because she just wants to display [I think I would say ‘explore’ if you are trying to make a distinction between a simple recount and a reconstruction that tries to get at emotional truth] how it could have been. In other words, we cannot consider the book as a historical account but rather as a product of Walls's fantasy, through which she tries to overcome her personal problems with her family.

I am not sure how formal or personal your teachers expect your writing to be, but try to keep the tone consistent if you can. You have some quite formal expressions and choices of vocabulary along with some more conversational phrases, and some rather American-sounding phrases alongside (British) Cambridge spelling. I don't think you have much to worry about, though. If in doubt, keep it simple and precise. Oh, and don't forget to use paragraphs.

Do you think the character had a choice about the jobs she took on, when she was a domestic servant or do you think these were determined by circumstance and social status?

Right, I should go and do my own 'homework'. Good luck with it.

3/21/2018, 9:13:22 PM

https://www.duolingo.com/Io-Moi-Yo-Ich-Ik

Thank you for your correction. Very kind of you! :) I'll go through it in detail tomorrow and ask my teacher about my writing style as soon as I can. :)

3/21/2018, 9:28:49 PM

https://www.duolingo.com/Luscinda
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Don't feel that you have to accept all of my suggestions. You are doing very well.

3/21/2018, 10:00:33 PM

https://www.duolingo.com/Heathearther

Most probably, Walls described the jobs Lily had had based on facts.

I'd change to: Walls probably described the jobs Lily had had based on facts.

Walls's - change to Walls'

This sentence is too long: If we consider the tough childhood Walls had, in which she even did not want to go back home after she had been taken to hospital because she considered the hospital more comfortable than her home, it seems natural that she wants to understand why she had to live in very different circumstance from those of other children around her.

I would change it to: If we consider the tough childhood Walls had, in which she resisted going home from the hospital because the hospital was more comfortable than her home, it seems natural that she wants to understand why she had to live in very different circumstance from those of the other children around her.

3/22/2018, 3:03:35 AM

https://www.duolingo.com/Luscinda
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What was the title/question, Vincent? And do you have email notifications switched on?

3/21/2018, 8:38:15 PM

https://www.duolingo.com/Io-Moi-Yo-Ich-Ik

Yes, I've switched them on now. The question was: Jeannette Walls calls her book a true-life novel. IN the book, she describes the life of her grandmother. Thomas Cirigane, an American wrote: "Each of us is a book waiting to be written, and that book, if written, results in a person explained." Analyse to what extent this quote is true of "Half Broke Horses".

3/21/2018, 8:59:27 PM

https://www.duolingo.com/Heathearther

Have you also read The Glass Castle? It's one of my favourite books!

3/22/2018, 3:09:18 AM

https://www.duolingo.com/Io-Moi-Yo-Ich-Ik

I haven't read it yet, but I'm planning to do so when I got some more time.

3/22/2018, 3:33:31 PM

[deactivated user]

    Hi, I'm learning German and I'm. an English native. If you still need me, I'm here. :)

    3/22/2018, 5:32:09 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/MillaLN

    I can help, I think. :)

    3/22/2018, 9:27:23 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/MillaLN

    ...If you still need it. So many people helped already, so I'm probably not necessary. Good job, though!!

    3/22/2018, 9:30:56 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/FrenchWarriorCat

    I am not a great English speaker, despite that my first language is english. But I would've said it this way.

    'I am having my high school graduation exams soon and therefore my final exams are including English (C1). I am searching for someone who is willing to correct texts I wrote so that I can improve on my English skills. In exchange, I can help you learn German (I'm a German native) or learn French, but that would have to wait after once I have graduated. And if you want any lingots, you can get them as well. :) I would be glad if someone is willing to help me! Vincent :)'

    Your English is great, so don't worry too much on it.

    3/21/2018, 7:31:54 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/Luscinda
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    Whereabouts are you from, that you worry on something?

    3/21/2018, 7:47:29 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/drvdw
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    ... but that would have to wait until I've graduated

    and

    I would be glad if someone were willing to help me.

    3/21/2018, 8:27:03 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/drvdw
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    Actually on the last sentence it could also be:

    I would be glad if someone would be willing to help me.

    but probably the most common would simply be:

    I would be glad if someone could help me.

    (I'm a native speaker but I'm not an expert in English grammar)

    3/21/2018, 8:45:01 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/Nuno275251

    I am searching for someone

    Should be "looking for someone". "Searching for" gives the impression the other person is lost.

    3/21/2018, 8:06:30 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/Luscinda
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    Not necessarily.

    3/21/2018, 8:35:23 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/RosieRivie

    Hey there - I have been told that I am a good writer and so I can help you proof read your English if you like. Also I am new to learning German :P Rosie

    3/21/2018, 8:06:18 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/Io-Moi-Yo-Ich-Ik

    Hey Rosie, that's cool! Do you a channel through which we could have our conversations? Facebook? E-Mail?

    3/21/2018, 8:38:20 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/RosieRivie

    Facebook - Rosie Riviera

    3/21/2018, 11:05:22 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/Io-Moi-Yo-Ich-Ik

    There are many people who have that name. :D You can add me: https://www.facebook.com/vincent.kretschmer :)

    3/22/2018, 3:26:37 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/Heathearther

    I'll have my high school graduation exams (Abitur), including my final English exams (C1), soon. Therefore, I am looking for someone who is willing to correct my writing so that I can improve my English skills. In exchange, I can help you learn German (I'm a German native) or French, after my graduation. And if you want any lingots, you can have them as well. :) I would be glad if someone is willing to help me! Vincent :)

    This is my correction of your original post. Remember in English we put the time of something later in the sentence, unlike in German where you put it earlier. Besides that, your writing isn't bad.

    English grammar - Do you want to go to the mall tomorrow?

    German grammar (I think) - Want you tomorrow to the mall go?

    "Do you want to go tomorrow to the mall?" doesn't sound right in English. Similarly, "In exchange, I can, after my graduation, ..." sounds odd.

    3/22/2018, 3:27:08 AM

    https://www.duolingo.com/drvdw
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    I would be glad if someone is willing to help me!

    Is that second conditional? Why doesn‘t it need a past subjunctive?

    3/22/2018, 4:48:05 AM

    https://www.duolingo.com/Heathearther

    Which part?

    3/22/2018, 12:34:46 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/drvdw
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    In this sentence: „I would be glad if someone is willing to help me!“.

    Why not were or would be rather than is?

    3/22/2018, 3:27:54 PM

    https://www.duolingo.com/EddsworldNerd

    I could help If you wanted

    10/29/2018, 4:50:46 PM
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