Kastāmiro Daomior - The Rains of Castamere
I did another translation, this time of the Rains of Castamere. As always I'm glad to hear your opinions and if you find the mistakes I probably made :D.
I translated "to have claws" with "to be strong" because I couldn't find a better solution. Maybe you can. And instead of "halls" I used "castle".
Se sparos iksā, hoskōñe āeksio vestretas
hegnīr kesy trūma obūljagon bēvilan?
Mērī tolio qībōño kēli
kony tolvie drīves issa bēgīmin.
Qeldliē qībōñot iā melē qībōñot
vasīr kēlio kostōba issa
Se kostōba iksan, ñuhus āeksios
kostōbāpa hen aōt.
Sesīr ȳdratas, sesīr ȳdratas
Ynsīr daomior zȳho sombāzmio toliot limas
se daorys rȳbagon ilza.
Sesīr daomior zȳho sombāzmio toliot limas
se dōre gīs rȳbagon ilza.
And who are you, the proud lord said
that I must bow so low?
Only a cat of a different coat
that's all the truth I know.
In a coat of gold or a coat of red
a lion still has claws (still is strong)
And mine are long and sharp, my lord (and im strong, my lord)
as long and sharp as yours. (as strong as you)
And so he spoke, and so he spoke
that lord of Castamere
But now the rains weep o'er his hall (his castle)
with no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o'er his hall
with not a soul to hear.
Instead of saying "hegnīr kesy trūma obūljagon bēvilan?" (something like "Is it necessary for this one to bend [the knee] like that?"?), you could probably use the aorist tense here - so one way of writing that bit could be "trūmirī obūljun" ("I [aorist subjunctive] bow deeply") - it cuts the length of the sentence down to fit the 'syllable length' of the line without fundamentally changing the underlying meaning, although other similar wordings would also work
I agree. I think hegnīr is important to include in order to link the two clauses, but maybe that was what you intended. Then it would map very closely to the attested ... hegnīr aōhys rūs ipradagon kostos.
If one wants to use bēvilagon, it should be ... hegnīr obūljagon yno bēvilos.
I really like your solution: hegnīr obūljagon yno bēvilos. It really gets the meaning quit good. The fact that you bow so low or deep is not that important. But it has still to many syllables...
Great work! The most challenging with HV I find is the lack of (known) vocabulary, but you managed quite nicely!
The fourth line, kony tolvie drīves issa bēgīmin, should be konir gīmin lȳs drīver issa, if you want a word-for-word translation.
On another note, I don't understand why Peterson rendered "of Castamere" as Kastāmiro with a long "a" – Kastamiro seems much more natural to me.
Kirimvose! Yea you always have to search for other ways of saying things.
Yea I also have problems with these macrons. They don't seem to change or effect the stress of the word but how am I supposed to pronounce the difference without putting stress on the macron? I mean yea, you are supposed to just hold it longer but it feels very unnatural to hold a syllable that is not the stressed one.
I'm not sure if I got your translation right. I know that thing, which is all/the whole truth. Is that right?
But if that's the correct translation, I would say it's not really the original meaning of that's all the truth I know. I would say mine is more accurate, meaning "that one is every truth I know about.*
But I thing the idea using collective is good here, so then my sentence would be That one is all truth I know about.