https://www.duolingo.com/A-Self

A new poem!

My name is called the wind, My life is upon the way.

I will go to I will been, I will wonder I will seen.

The sky ever is the bright, By sun or by moonlight.

The earth ever on the change, By people or by time.

Some thing would follow me to far, And I would carry it to the fade.

Some story would just send me away, But I'm willing sing it everlast.

December 4, 2018

15 Comments


https://www.duolingo.com/ZOKLA.19

Very beautiful congratulations

December 4, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/LittlemissLia

这是一首美的诗!但有些事情是错的:

“The sky ever on the bright” should be “The sky is ever bright”. This is because bright is an adjective. (In English, you can’t say that “the [noun] is ever on the [adjective]”. You could say that [noun] is ever on the [noun], like "the fan is ever on the ceiling", but you can’t do this with adjectives.)

It would be correct to say “the sky is ever bright”. In poetry, it would also be fine to say “the sky ever bright”.

December 4, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/Bluebubble2018

I would like to add a few corrections.

  • 'Or' is a conjunction used to connect two or more alternatives which could be words,phrases or clauses,like you used it to connect two nouns 'sun' 'moonlight' ,'people' 'time' .But it's presence before 'by' in the 3rd and 4th line is wrong,as there's no need of a conjugation. Just 'by people or by time' is correct.

  • 'Would' is an auxiliary or helping verb like should,could etc.Technically, would is the past tense of will,but it has many uses and can express the present tense as well.So, just like you used first form of verb in 'would carry' and 'would sing' ,it would be 'something would just see my back' instead of 'seen'.

And in the second line it will either be 'I will see' or 'I will be seen'.

I hope i don't seem rude pointing these out,i'm a learner myself.A few mistakes but great job!! Keep going. :)

December 7, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/A-Self

Thank you very much for your correction, I am very happy to correct it! and I don't know if using "such" is correct.

December 8, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/Bluebubble2018

My pleasure

Just 'by people or by time' is correct.

You could use 'such' after you add 'as' i.e 'such as by people or by time' but it might give an awkward feel,or disrupt the flow.

December 10, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/A-Self

thank you! I'm understood (*゚▽゚)ノ

December 10, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/A-Self

我明白了,非常感谢你的帮助 :)

December 5, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/LittlemissLia

不客气 :)

December 5, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/Amie1112DCHS

Das ist nett! :)

December 4, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/A-Self

Danke!

December 5, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/bobgirl10

這是一首很美的詩! 你非常厲害!不好意思,我是寫繁體字的。

December 5, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/A-Self

沒關係,我能看懂。很高興你能喜歡

December 5, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/PerronRuth

Very beautiful! :)

December 5, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/Emily__Eckert

很漂亮!

December 7, 2018

https://www.duolingo.com/Emily__Eckert

I have few corrections.
"My name is called the wind" - I understand what you are trying to say, but it does sound a bit uncomfortable. You would say one or the other, but not both at the same time. For example, My name is wind, or I am called the wind. But when you put both together, it just doesn't sound like what a native speaker would say.
There is a lot more I could correct honestly, but it all comes down to the grammar. You need to study the grammar before trying to form sentences. "The sky ever is the bright" I don't really know what you are trying to say. The word ever does not need to be there, and bright is an adjective, which means it describes a word. So, you do not need "the" in front of "bright". The rest of it is very incorrect, grammar-wise. I can't even try to fix it because I have no idea what you are trying to say. Restudy the grammar, and then maybe try to rewrite it again. Hopefully this helped a little bit.

December 17, 2018
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