Would this be equivalent to the English phrase "why won't you listen!?"?
Because I would guess so, but it feels weird to me. Mostly the "do you not want to" bit. One asks the reason (why) for an action (not obey), one asks the reason (why) behind a presumed reason (want to) for an action (not obey).
Perhaps it's a cultural way to soften it. Because face it, when you ask a kid "why aren't you listening" - 90% chance they are listening but not 'listening'. I.E. Hearing but not obeying. Similarly, 90% chance they do not WANT to obey, but still 10% chance they are somehow otherwise prevented. Such a small margin of plausible deniability is often used in languages to be less confrontational.
But if it IS actually about wanting, perhaps an sentence with a less strict/dominant feeling could be used? "Why don't you want to eat" or "why don't you want to sleep at a hotel" for example.