parlarmi vs parlare con me

hello, i was wondering when should i use parlarmi and when to use parlare con me. i know that the latter translates literally to "talk WITH me" but honestly, i'm still confused.

February 20, 2019


Ciao, you need a premise:

1) Lui vuole parlare a me.- He wants to speak to me. (A when A wants to say something to B, and B listens, unidirectional communication)

2) Lui vuole parlare con me. - He wants to speak with me [/to me - less literal for an informal tone] (CON when A and B speak to each other, bidirectional communication, coversation)

3) Lui vuole parlarmi./Lui mi vuole parlare. - like (1): He wants to speak to me.

the last one is a short version, the tonic pronoun me becomes the clitic mi including a (like in English "give x to me = give me x").

Even though mi is like a me - to me with parlare (to speak/talk) we might also find with in translations that are less literal, on Duolingo and not only, I think for a matter of style: examples 1 - examples 2.

n.b. These rules are applied to all the clitic pronouns normally used for the indirect complement introduced by 'parlare', as well as to 'mi', so:
singular → mi (a me), ti (a te), gli (a lui), le (a lei), Le (a Lei - formal you)
plural → vi (a voi), ci (a noi), loro [standard]/gli [colloquial] (a loro), Loro (a Loro - formal you).

Remember these pronouns also work as a direct complement when there are other verbs e.g. You see me = Tu mi vedi/Tu vedi me, except for the 3rd person s./p. that changes form:

singular → lo (lui/esso), la (lei/essa), La (Lei - formal you)
plural → li (loro/essi), le (loro/esse), Li/Le (Loro - formal you)

Speaking of with, informally you can also use the adverbial particle ci as a clitic p. e.g.

Io ci parlo. (= con lui/lei/esso/loro) - I speak with him/her/it/them.

only with these people, and it's different from the normal clitic pronoun ci - us (= direct object 'us'/indirect object 'to-for us', with implicit prepositions).

The mi, adverb ci, and in general all the clitic pronouns can be coupled to verbs as the endings or come before, in general we have this double possibility :

1) with infinitive, but when there are modal verbs potere (can), sapere (can/to be able to), volere (to want), dovere (must/to have to) together e.g.

Posso parlarTI? / Ti posso parlare?
(May I speak to you?)

2) infinitives with other verbs which act as the modal ones e.g. osare (to dare)

Lui ha osato parlarMI. / Lui mi ha osato parlare.
(He dared to speak to me).

3) infinitives into the periphrasis stare per + infinitive e.g.

Io ti sto per parlare di qualcosa di importante . / Io sto per parlarTI di qualcosa di importante.
(I'm going to talk to / I'm about to talk to you about something important.)

4) with the gerund, precisely in the periphrasis stare + gerund, e.g.

Lui mi sta parlando. / Lui sta parlandoMI.
(You're speaking to me.).

5) with the imperative when it's negative, e.g.

Non parlarMI! / Non mi parlare!
Non parlateMI! / Non mi parlate!
(Don't speak to me - [you/you all])

In other cases clitic pronouns come after, coupled to verbs, percisely:

1) with verbs followed by infinitives e.g.

Ha bisogno di parlarMI.
(He needs to speak to me.)
Pensavo di parlarTI.
(I thought of speaking to you.)

2) with the imperative e.g.

ParlaMI! / ParlateMI!
(Speak to me! [you/you all])

but when it is negative there is a double possibility as said above.

3) with the simple gerund e.g.

ParlandoMI di quello che era successo...
(Talking to me about what had happened...)

4) with the participle e.g.

Il libro regalatoMI da te.
(The book given me by you.).

p.s. pay attention, I read your discussion here, but parlaRmi is different to parlami, the first is an infinitive coupled to the pronoun "mi", the second an imperative coupled to "mi" too . Don't get confused. : )

February 20, 2019

Parlarmi means parlare a me ("speak/talk to me"), so it infers a one-way communication: the listener has something to tell the speaker.

Parlare con me ("to speak/talk with me") infers a two-way communication, a conversation.

February 20, 2019


February 21, 2019

Richard ciao. As u are level 20, would you be interested in joining an active Italian/English club? I'll check here again later.

February 22, 2019

Ciao Linda. Thank you for the invite. It really depends on what the club & how it operates. Buona serata, Richard

February 23, 2019

Richard ciao. We message each other in Italian, we "chat" about the pics that Duo send, we earn xp for our comments, Max is a firm Admin and asks for at least 15/20 xp per week. Some chat a lot, others are quieter but every day we learn from our daily comments. It's a respectful and well-run club with the accent on communicating rather than being perfect. Of course, you can leave whenever you wish should you like to try us. Tanti auguri.

February 23, 2019

Grazie mille Linda. Duo keeps me fairly busy, mainly as revision tool. In addition, I find it beneficial to use spare time speaking face to face with people rather than exchange messages. What your club does will be extremely helpful to your members & it's a great idea but not really for me. Stammi bene e a presto. Richard

February 23, 2019

Richard. No problema. Goditi il viaggio:-)

February 23, 2019

Grazie mille Linda e altrettanto professoressa ;-)

February 23, 2019
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