I Started a Japanese Journal! Will You Critique It?
As a practice exercise, I've decided to start writing short journal entries on my blog, in Japanese! Will you please take a look at my first entry and let me know what I can work on? I wrote about a couple Japanese shops I visited yesterday, and I posted pictures of the goodies I bought. I know the text is probably pretty messy, and I'm sure I write like a child... but that's part of the learning experience, right? :)
Also, I tried to only use kanji that I already know, so my apologies if it's a little kana-heavy in some spots.
Anyway, here's the link:
Thank you so much!
It's pretty good :) There are a few mistakes though. You wrote 「楽しいでした」but since 楽しい is an い adjective, you have to write 楽しかったです for past tense. You did this correctly when you wrote 「食べたかった」but here you forgot the です at the end to make it a polite sentence. You want to be consistent since you were polite the rest of the post. You wrote 「二つみせ」, but when you write a counter before the noun, you have to put の between them, 二つのみせ。You wrote 「中で、甘いまめがあります」。 Here, though, you would use 中に, I believe. 中で is for when actions are being done somewhere. 中に is used to indicate where an object is when using あります。
Other than that, everything is パーフェクト！In some cases, there are more fitting grammar you could use, but it's likely you don't know them yet. So, here: I recommend learning つもりです, or to-plan-to, form. It will be useful for your blog!
Nice blog look btw. Very stylish.
Thank you so much for taking the time to look at my journal! I really appreciate your detailed response. I knew there were mistakes, but I needed a little help picking them all out. The to-plan-to form sounds interesting! I'll look up everything you mentioned, and maybe even write a post with my study notes. :)
Say, ParadoxN, would it be all right if I include your comment in my blog post? I'd like to keep it for my own reference and share it with my readers. :)
First you bought Konpeito... こんぺいとうを買いました。
After that, you should use も instead of を for the things you also bought...
こしあんぱん も 買いました！ [I separated it to make it look obvious - forgot how to do bold.]
I can't critique your journal because you're better than I am at Japanese hehe.
What I can say though is I enjoyed browsing your blog; it's very well put together, and the Hamtaro/hamster theme you have going on is fun and adorable.
Your guide to sentence particles is very helpful and I could actually read your shopping trip journal in its entirety; pretty rewarding feeling actually!
Hi, RyotOrmes90! ありがとうございます！ I’m glad you enjoyed my blog. It’s become such a great learning tool for me personally, and it feels nice to be able to share what I’m learning. That’s so cool you could read my whole journal entry! すごい！ Also, you must know more kanji than I do because I had to look up several of the words you used! :P
Hi. I read your entry. I really enjoyed it. It's evident that a lot of effort and passion has gone into it. My Japanese is probably at a similar level than yours so I won't be able to help proofreading it. But you can bet I'll go back someday to see if you've placed any new entry. Congratulations!
Great question! No, not all of it. I like to do extra research to supplement what I learn in Duolingo. I guess I tailor my studies to fit my own needs that way. In fact, one of my favorite ways to learn is to simply ask “I wonder how you say ___?” and then go looking for the answer.