I found some oysters in the back of the fridge last night.
I thought they had expired 6 days ago, July 10, so I figure why not? What's the worst thing that could happen.
The top of the jar was poofed up a bit and when I opened them it squirted, kind of fizzed, and smelled somewhere between low tide and when they pump out the porta potties at the State Fair in August.
So I ate them.
Turns out they expired on June 10th, whoops.
So, at 2 a.m. I woke up to projectile diarrhea. Then again at 4:35 and pretty much all day I was shooting molten gravy everywhere I went.
It's known as mud butt down south but most people are satisfied with calling it the shizzitz.
How about you? How are you today?
I like your Tupac avatar. Better to die as a man than to live as a coward! Good stuff