“Mātrem benignam habeō” is more correct than “Matrem benignam habeo”, yet it tells me to mind my accents.
Word order should not be important here.
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why is benignam acc case?
What do I have? I have a kind mother. Therefore it's the accusative matrem benignam.
The dative of possession ought to be accepted (Mihi est mater benigna). In fact, for familial relations, I have found the dative of possession to be much more common in Latin than the use of habere (although my reading is not extensive).