Piadas em Inglês
Aqui nesse topico apresentarei algumas piadas em Inglês para sua diversão e aprendizado também. (Todas as piadas foram retiradas do site http://www.solinguainglesa.com.br/)
God and the man
A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all." So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time, so, for you, how long is a thousand years?" God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes." The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you, how much is a million dollars?" God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents." The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me five cents please?" God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son. Just wait five minutes!"
The old lady
A policeman stops an elderly lady on the road for speeding:
Lady: Is there a problem officer?
Policeman: Madam, you were driving too fast!
L: Oh, I see.
P: Can I see your driver's license?
L: Well, I don't have one.
P: You don't!?
L: Yeah, I lost it for drunk driving 3 years ago.
P: I see, and can you pass me your vehicle registration papers, please?
L: I can't do that.
P: Why not?
L: I stole this car.
P: You stole it?
L: Yes, and I killed the owner and cut him into pieces...
P: You what?
L: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The officer looks at the woman and goes back to his car. He calls other police cars for help and back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the woman's car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car: "Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle, please?" The woman steps out of her vehicle. Lady: Is there a problem, sir? Officer: One of my officers told me that you stole this car and murdered the owner. L: Murderer the owner? O: Yes could you please open the trunk of your car? The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. O: Is this your car, ma'am? L: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is puzzled. O: One of my officers says that you don't have a driver's license. The woman opens her purse, takes the license and gives it to the officer. He examines the license. He can't understand what's happening. O: Thank, you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered the owner and made pieces of him. L: I bet the liar told you that I was speeding too.
CIA, FBI and LAPD
The CIA, the FBI, and the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later dragging a badly beaten bear. The bear is screaming, "Okay, okay! I'm a RABBIT!! I'm a RABBIT!!"
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