HELP to translate something
Hello, I would like help to translate a sentence into Hawaiian. I am currently writing a fantasy book and I need to translate a spell into Hawaiian which is supposed to turn the air into water.
In English it's : Water of my blood, water of my flesh. Hear your child's prayer. Forget your soul and become a wave where the air was blowing.
In Hawaiian I translated this:
Wai kaʻu koko, wai kaʻu
E lohe pule kou keiki
e poina kou uhane, a lilo i ka nalu kahi e lele ai ka lewa.
I am a complete beginner in Hawaiian and I must admit I have a lot of difficulty learning this language ! I used Google and dictionaries like http://wehewehe.org/ but I'm not sure about it ...
So thank you in advance !
PS: I know it's a strange request so if it's not appropriate, I'm sorry and you can totally delete my post ... But I tried everything and you are my last hope >
Aloha mai. I think my only comment here is that I would suggest you research Hawaiian pule and 'oli so that you write this from the Hawaiian perspective, which this is clearly not. This is English written with Hawaiian words. I mean I guess it's okay as long as you know this and are okay with the fact that you are degrading the authenticity of what you are trying to communicate through the spell.
Hope this helps; Bottom line: You don't just want to be doing whatever you want for the sake of your story, lest you err in the realm of appropriation.
In fact, I did a lot of research on Hawaiian mythology and on traditional pule.
The problem is that most of the traditional pule kahoahoa (prayers for appeal) begin with an acknowledgment of the god and its kinolau ... And for my plot, I can't use the call to a deity (to make short, the spell has been stolen from Poliʻahu, the goddess of snow, and therefore it would be counterproductive to appeal to her or to another deity =)) I also cannot use the offering part for the same reasons.
I studied a lot of different pule and I used it to create this spell but I am aware that it will not be a traditional pule ... Which is not the goal ! (I don't want to create a pule but a spell who is supposed to be a forbidden spell that no one knows about except for Hawaiian deities ...)
But thank you for your advice =) It made me think a lot !