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https://www.duolingo.com/profile/FergusMart4

High Crimes and Misdemeanours - Light Reflection

Court News

(All names are changed to protect the innocent)

In a surprising development at the Sherriff Court today, an investigation into the blackmarket trade of underwear in the Western Isles was thrown into chaos when the main suspect, (Big Iain) turned against his co-conspirators, (Wee Mairi and Morag).

The case came about as the report of thefts of underwear in the area increased and the local police mounted an undercover operation to identify the culprits. PC's Calum and Iseabail infiltrated a small group of nightime clandestine operators. They became particularly suspicious when one individual became more gregarious in his actions.

PC Calum: "My attention was drawn to one lad who was constantly dropping his trousers to parade his vast collection of underwear. It was clear he wasn't the brightest of the bunch, and when questioned, he freely volunteered the names of his "pals" and asked if we wanted in on the action"

PC Iseabail: "It became clear at this point, that there was a wider gang at play, and surprisingly it was the women who were the driving force, setting up a ring exporting "Original Isles Underwear" to unsuspecting tourists on the mainland"

In sentencing the judge awarded the women 6 months of eating nothing but Guga and 12 hours a day cutting peat. Iain was to be given pychological help for his addiction.

Breaking News

Storm Blawy has caused major disprution, none more so than at the local wildlife park, where a number of animals have escaped. There have been sightings of lions and bears in house. The police advise that if sighted, people should stay well clear, and not try and befriend the animals. They are not pets!

February 22, 2020

16 Comments


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Dabhidh

Quite amusing!!

I was once told (by a Western Isles policeman) a story of an actual crime - an assault - that happened in Portree many years ago.

The police records contained the following details...

Victim's name - Donald John MacLeod, Assailant - Donald John MacLeod, Attending Officer - Donald John MacLeod

(The name of all those involved has been changed to protect their identity!!)


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/FergusMart4

Obviously it was a wedding incident!


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Morag_Kerr

You've typed Mairi and Morag in the vocative there, when it's not the vocative case you're using. Two demerit points for you.


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/FergusMart4

I shall promptly take myself off and fall on my sword!


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Morag_Kerr

Aw, don't take it so hard. There are just a few people on Twitter who come out in hives every time they see someone who has actually been given the name "Mhairi" by their apparently un-clued-up parents.


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/FergusMart4

Fixed it just for you ;-)


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Morag_Kerr

Aw, you are a sweetie. I keep forgetting this forum allows unlimited editing. (I better not mention the spelling of Sheriff, or the grocer's apostrophe now...)

Never mind, the whole thing is hilarious.


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/FergusMart4

You have to be an English teacher!


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Morag_Kerr

Just a pedant! But this is a forum for language pedants.


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/William335336

Why would you fall on a sword? Wouldn't you fall on a big sword (clay mor).


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/FergusMart4

Might just stab myself harshly with a black knife ;-)


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/William335336

Wouldn't it just get deflected by your targe?


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Cairistiona2020

Would opening a Harris tweed underwear shop be a good plan? Would listening to Gaga for 6 month instead cause the same effect? Did Olive drive Iain mad?


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/FergusMart4

Probably the reason Iain wears none is that he can only get Harris tweed ones. To have the same effect it would have been one month of listening to Gaga. Professors drive everyone mad!


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/Cairistiona2020

You should apply for being the writer of the Duolingo's Scottish Gaelic stories! Thank you so much for spreading such a fine humour!


https://www.duolingo.com/profile/FergusMart4

Thanks. We all need a little distraction from time to time, and this is mine

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