"Waarom heb jij een eend?"

Translation:Why do you have a duck?

August 2, 2014


Sorted by top post


Waarom heb jij geen eend?

August 2, 2014


A very practical conversation starter right there.

August 11, 2014


You can pick up chicks with this starter. Especially if you add afterwards: "Ik ben een banaan!".

August 19, 2014


The man strode up to the bar with an air of nonchalance, choosing his bar stool with deliberate casualness.

There was a woman to his right.

He turned ever so smoothly, signaling the bartender for two glasses of wine. He flashed the woman a smile, shifting in his seat.

"Waarom heb jij een eend?" He asked, offering her one of the glasses as the bartender placed them onto the mahogany counter.

There was indeed a duck in her lap.

She ignored him. "Ik wil een boterham zonder ei, alsjeblieft," she said to the bartender.

The man tried again. "Ik ben een banaan!"

He winked at her, and offered her duck part of his sandwich. "Uw eend houdt van brood, ja?"

She frowned. "Mijn eend wil geen jouw brood geen jouw banaan, dank je wel."

The bartender chose that moment to interrupt, having forgotten who wanted what sandwich. "Het spijt me, mevrouw, maar welke boterham is van jou? De boterham met kaas, of de boterham zonder ei?"

"De boterham zonder ei," she said tersely.

"Uw houdt van bananen, ja?" Tried the man once more.

The duck chose that moment to quack rather loudly. "Quack," to be precise.

The man blinked, somewhat taken aback. "De eend is niet Nederlands?"

"Nee," replied the woman. "Mijn eend is Engels."

The man then noticed that the duck was drinking tea from a saucer and that the woman was feeding it scones.

"Oke," said the man, realizing that they had gotten off on the wrong foot and that there was little chance of him salvaging the situation. He pushed his stool back and stood up. As he took out his wallet to pay for the drinks, he gave it one more shot. "Oke, oke, ik...uhhh....ik houd van de eends?"

The woman frowned, and there was a hint of danger in her voice. "Ik ben een appel!"

The man blushed and stuttered, "Oke, ja, ja, het spijt me, het spijt me, uhh, bendankt en dag."

The woman rolled her eyes as the man slinked off into the crowd.

And that was that.

August 28, 2014


This is great! It's encouraged me now that I feel like I'm learning real world Dutch!

October 11, 2014


superb! definitely worth a lingot

September 30, 2014


I had actually google translated "quack" before - it's "kwak" in Dutch, for those interested - so I was a bit disappointed, but then you explained it all! Bravo!

May 21, 2015


You are brilliant. Lingot well deserved!

August 28, 2014


Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing it, though my limited Dutch skills made some of it difficult (though I guess the challenge of writing with what Dutch I've learned so far was fun in its own way!).

August 28, 2014


Can we really send lingot to other user?

July 13, 2018


Yes, but only when using the desktop version. It doesn't work on the app, unfortunately.

September 11, 2018


This is gold. You had me in tears laughing Dankje. Jij zijn goed! !

January 30, 2015


This is beautiful

October 15, 2014


This is the best duo comment ever

June 29, 2017


Best story ever, genius.

February 6, 2017

[deactivated user]

    I feel like I actually learned something after reading all this without using translate!

    July 4, 2018


    That was a work of art

    August 9, 2017


    I would give a lingot but I don't want to ruin 69 lingots

    July 30, 2017


    Thank you for lightening the load!

    May 12, 2018



    April 5, 2019


    Let's not forget... "de sinaasappel spreekt"

    August 24, 2015


    Is this some sort of Dutch innuendo?

    May 1, 2016


    OK serious question -- you would say: "je hebt een eend" So why is "have" conjugated as "heb", rather than "hebt"?

    November 14, 2014


    Straight from the Tips and Notes at the bottom of the Questions section:

    "Dutch only applies inversion to form closed questions. Example:

    1.Jullie zijn klaar - You are done

    2.Zijn jullie klaar? - Are you done?

    3.Jij zwemt - You swim

    4.Zwem jij? - Do you swim?"

    So, jij and je lose the ending 't' from their verb conjugation during inversion and only they do. This was specifically stated somewhere else, but I can't remember where I saw that. Probably in the grammar area:


    November 17, 2014


    I ask myself this every day

    March 7, 2017


    Alfred J. Kwak

    February 18, 2017


    I first read it with Chandler Bing's voice and imagined him asking Joey Tribbiani that.

    November 8, 2017


    Why jij and not je?

    May 7, 2016


    Both pronouns are correct; jij simply puts more emphasis on the pronoun than je does. :) The same applies to zij versus ze and wij versus we.

    May 7, 2016


    Ah yes... Duo's little thing towards Ducks. xD

    February 24, 2019


    Why heb jij and not hebt jij?

    February 2, 2016


    The rule with je/jij is that if the verb precedes the subject (being je/jij) it loses the -t.

    More info here: https://www.duolingo.com/comment/3762671

    February 2, 2016


    Why is it spelled "waarom" and not "warom"? I thought long vowels are spelled with one letter when they precede a consonant (kaas → kazen). Is it because it's a composition of waar and om?

    November 5, 2016


    Yes, you would split it in syllables as 'waar-om'; so the first syllabe is deemed 'closed'. Where as for 'kazen' it would be split in 'ka-zen'. Similarly 'waren' (past tense of zijn, [we] were), starts with the same sound as waarom, but because you would split in syllables as 'wa-ren' is spelled differently.

    April 27, 2017


    "why are you having a duck?" is marked as incorrect. May I know the reason please

    August 22, 2018


    "Are you having a duck" isn't exactly proper English. There is a special context where English speakers will say something like "I'm having a drink," or "I'll have the fish" which is really just another way of saying "I am drinking a drink" or "I would like to eat the fish".

    Beyond that context, you don't really use "having" in a concrete sense in English. English-speakers will instead say "Why do you have a duck," and Dutch seems to following along with that pattern. Therefore, "Why are you having a duck" would be incorrect grammar, and therefore wrong.

    August 22, 2018
    Learn Dutch in just 5 minutes a day. For free.