I know you're kidding around, but just in case, here comes a tiny explanation :)
In Danish one uses the present tense of the verbs to describe the future as well. So this one could be seen as a prediction that, if you were to go to the jungle of mutated vampire animals, the elephants will eat you! Another one:
- Jeg spytter på din sandwich - I (will) spit on your sandwich, expressing intent.
- Så slår jeg dig! - Then I (will) punch you!, expressing a prediction or promise.
Notice the total absence of anything more complicated than present tense. Isn't Danish wonderful?
"Hello Bro How Are You" "I'm fine, thanks. The elephants are eating you" "Wait, WTF the elephants are eating me??? Oh, they're really doing it. Fine, baaad boooyyy"
"Sup bro how are you?" "Oh thank you i'm okay i'm just here being eaten by elephants, everything else is fine..."
L O L. Of course over there on the other side of The Bridge everything is much more fun ... ikke? Of course animals read and write, drink wine - so of course they SPISER just like other humans do. Still curious tho, did you Danes once upon a time say that people SPISER but animals EDER or AEDER ? :)
I'm not sure like if any of you people are aware of what's going on in the world here but there's like really disgusting people who are like being jailed and executed for pedophilia and eating people like for real and having a statement like the elephants are eating you is it's a f** sick