I'm going to take a shot at freeing you of this particular grammar curse: Lay: to place or put something down. Lay is transitive and takes a object. Lie: to recline. Lie is intransitive and does not take an object. Example: I lie down. (no object) I lay myself down. (myself serves as the object) The ball is lying on the table (ball is the subject, not object) I lay the ball on the table. (ball is the object). When my children would jump on the bed I would say, "Lie down, before I lay you down!" - but I never did make them into direct objects! ;-) Hope this helps.
I must have missed something when "ligger" was first introduced... in my notes I only have "is situated/is located" as the meaning. So, it is "lie/lying" also, obviously. So why isn't it/can't it be "who IS next to me", and does it HAVE to be "who is LYING next to me?" A bit confused now.