31 Comments This discussion is locked.
This is the reason I listen to the slow-mo before committing, because it ticks me off to lose hearts over it. I understand that native speakers run words together in most any language -- and my husband is Brazilian -- but it's particularly hard to distinguish between this voice's O and UM at normal speed.
A duck walks into a drug store and buys a chapstick. The clerk says, "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck says, "Just put it on my bill!"
Two vultures were in the desert eating a dead clown. The first vulture asks the second vulture: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Did you hear about the newly discovered red-phase owl. It was found in San Francisco sittin’ on the dock of the bay. Scientists are not sure what the common name will be, but the scientific name is Otus Redding.
A Blue Jay applied for the receptionists job at the new AT&T headquarters. The interviewer, a bit non-plussed, told the Jay that the candidate had to be able to type at least 80 words per minute. The Jay demonstrated a 100 wpm talent! Not wanting to hire a BIRD for the job, the interviewer told the Jay that the candidate had to be able to take dictation. The Jay surpassed all other candidates. Finally the interviewer thought he'd be able to get rid of the Jay with "the candidate must be bilingual!" The Jay replied "Meow!!"
I understand that a crow has one less pinion feather than a raven. Therefore how do you tell a crow from a raven? It's a matter of opinion.
Judge: young man, it says here you shot and killed a California Condor. How do you plead? Defendant: Guilty your honor. Judge: GUILTY!? Don't you know how endangered these condors are? There are hardly any left at all. Defendant: Yes sir, I know, but I had to feed my family, we're so poor. Judge: That's no excuse. I fine you 30 days in jail. By the way, what does California Condor taste like? Defendant: It's real good, kinda like a cross between Bald Eagle and Whooping Crane!
Question: Why do hummingbirds hum? Answer: Because they don't know the words.
What do you get when a Rooster mates with a vegetable? CHICK PEAS