Why to learn Chinese
If you're reading this, you're probably saying "Why should I learn Chinese? Insert untrue statement here". Well, here's why:
To everyone learning Chinese, I salute you. Together, we can stop these horrible translations. And yes, these are all real.
When on the Great Wall when I was in China I took a picture of a sign that said "Speaking cellphone is strictly prohibited when thunderstorm." Which we took to mean, "when there's a thunderstorm, dont say the word cellphone." As I toured with a music group, we were amused when we saw the picture of a musical instrument that looked like a trumpet and it was crossed out. We knew it meant no loud noises, but we usually just told the trumpet players it meant they weren't allowed.
I agree. Based on the other sign, the "I don't like that you put your shoes on my face", Chinese keep-off-the-grass signs anthropomorphize grass. I think "I don't like it when you put your shoes on my face" is a little more clever than "don't step on the grass." It might even be more effective. I suspect that is the case.
As for "civilization go to the toilet thanks to everyone", which was going for "please use the restroom, thanks" or somesuch, I think the sentiment is actually more meaningful. It is true. The modern restroom and sanitary practices as a whole, which save countless lives, are a result of the world as a whole. Each time we use a toilet, we're using a product of globalization and collective innovation.
Furthermore, the "beware of safety" sign also expresses an interesting idea. Safety is a boon, of course, but sometimes we take things to far. A totally safe life would be stagnant. We should appreciate safety but also appreciate our ability to take meaningful risks. The "slip and fall carefully" sign ties into this well. Falling is an accident, and we can't prevent it, but if we increase our awareness we can minimize the damage. I think of Amos Rendao and Parkour Ukemi.
Some of these signs might be perfectly valid, but we have no context. Maybe the park is frequented by some sort of hate group, or maybe the sign-maker was trying to make people recognize their own prejudices by calling them out. Perhaps "whatever" is an accurate description of the dish. It might be potpourri or what I like to call Huck-Finn-style stew (where you stick everything in and let the juices mix together). The "beware of missing foot" might not be referring to a missing step. Who are we to get in the way of their search for the poor person's missing foot? Maybe they can still sew it back on. And perhaps poisonous garbage requires a specific container. Who are we to criticize based solely on an image?
I overthink things.
FACEPALM! XD I don't think I can eat "Fries pulls out the rotten child" or whatever that is. (@.@). This reminded me of this! http://www.allkpop.com/buzz/2014/12/20-korean-engrish-signs-that-will-make-you-laugh-or-facepalm It's Korean Engrish tho. I could not stop myself from laughing when I first read this.
:D İskender that's Turkish for Alexander, is a popular restaurant dish made of döner, a Turkish beef delicacy that literally means "he/she/it (re)turns", yogurt, tomato sauce and melted butter poured over it. Very Alexander was intended to mean iskender with more meat (i.e. döner) than usual, Alexander Confused to mean mixed iskender having various meatballs over it, and Alexander Returns to mean iskender with döner that's a weird expression since the dish is already made of it. :)
That's why you don't go around translating random things. These translations are stupid, but personally, I don't like people translating like that.