Let me try if I understand. You point to a glass (or bottle) of wine with to the person that is sitting opposite of you at the table. You would have to say "esse vinho", right? If the wine was with you, you would say "este vinho"? I guess in English you would say "this' in the latter case, but you could use both "this" and "that" in the former case. At least that's what I do, also in my own language. I don't make much difference between "this" and "that" for things that are relatively nearby.