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Language jokes?

Why did the Chef kill himself?

Because he lost his huile d'olive!

August 29, 2013



English Boat: "We are sinking, we are sinking!"

German Coastguard: "Ja? Vot are you sinking about?"


Oh my goodness this is fantastic!!!! I know I have heard this before, but it always makes me laugh!!! :D


Q. To a German, what comes between fear and sex?

A. Funf.


Where would we be without foreign language puns? http://i.imgur.com/9GaD1.jpg Love this one.


How many eggs are in a french omelet? One, because one egg is un œuf.


Two cats are walking across the ice. One is named One-Two-Three, the other Un-Deux-Trois. Which one made it across?

Answer: The One-Two-Three cat made it because the Un-Deux-Trois quatre cinq!


Lol took me a bit


I love this one. :D

During WWII, two German spies walk into a bar. They agreed before that they won't ask for Schapps as the locals would find it suspicious. So one of them orders in perfect English: "I would like two martinis, please!" "Dry?" asks the barman. "Sch***e, warum drei, ich möchte nur zwei!"


Great link. :) I liked this one...

A Russian on the Czech border. Border guard: "Occupation?" Russian: "No, just a visit."


Ah, Prash got my favorite joke. I originally heard it as written below, with the heaviest German accent you can muster: Vot did Zigmund Ffffreud say vos de differenze between FEAR und SEX? Funf!

I like this Spanish sutra (I might have found it at this site, I can't remember) El cambio es inevitable, excepto cuando se trata de de una máquina expendedora. – Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


-Cómo dices "nariz" en inglés? -nose -entonces si no sabes, no hables!


What do you call someone who knows only one language?


(This is just a joke I heard! I make no judgements!)


Works with French as well ^^


Check out this site: http://home.ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html

Here are some examples for the languages here on Duolingo:

English is essentially a West Germanic language that's trying very hard to look like a Romance one. -- Andreas Johansson

German is essentially a language developed by a group of Teutons who gathered in the forest one day to come up with a language that their enemies would have no chance of grasping. -- Jeff Lowery

Spanish is essentially Italian spoken by Arabs. -- Benct Philip Jonsson

French is what happened when Germans tried to learn Latin and said "screw it." -- Charles Lavergne

Italian is Latin that's had a bottle of wine. -- John "Serge" Beeler

Portuguese is Spanish spoken by a drunken Frenchman. -- vacapinta


One riddle to solve... ;)


Q: What is dragons' favourite recipe?











A: The Princess and the Pea.


Works in German, too. :)


F: Welches Rezept mögen Drachen am liebsten?

A: Die Prinzessin auf der Erbse.

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