It makes me smile to read your comment. When I read it the first time, I totally agreed. Now that I practised more and spent a few months in Turkey, this sentence seems pretty simple to me. I don't even remember what I found difficult in it. Don't give up friends, Turkish is nothing more than a language, you can tame it!
I think you usually use the possessive suffixes on the short infinitive only if the subject is different from that of the main verb -- so if the wanting and the hating are by the same person, as in your example, I think it would be simply etmek istemiyorum rather than etmemi istemiyorum.
And possibly "kendimden" rather than "benden", as in English ("hate myself" rather than "hate me").
Once you've worked out that both verbs have the same subject, your default will be -mek for the object verb. Then you would use the same rules you use with a simple object to figure out if it needs the accusative: if there are words that separate your object from your main verb, or a main verb that requires the accusative (or another case).